The computing¹ field is always in need of new cliches.

Alan Perlis

Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done.

Andy Rooney (1919 - )

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

Bill Gates (1955 - ), Business @ The Speed of Thought

If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee -- that will do them in.

Bradley's Bromide

Why is it drug addicts² and computer afficionados are both called users?

Clifford Stoll

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly³ eaten by the dog.

Doug Larson

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.

E. W. Dijkstra

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

E. W. Dijkstra

Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

Edward Shepherd Mead⁴

To err⁵ is human, but to really foul⁶ things up requires a computer.

Farmers' Almanac, 1978

Compromise used to mean that half a loaf was better than no bread. Among modern statesmen it really seems to mean that half a loaf is better than a whole loaf.

G. K. Chesterton (1874 - 1936), What's Wrong with the World, chapter 3, 1910

Most people believe that if you go in and try to micromanage a forest, it is possible to destroy the very thing that makes it a unique and special place. That's just as true of the Net.

Glen Raphael

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Part of the inhumanity of the computer is that, once it is competently programmed and working smoothly⁷, it is completely honest.

Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.

James Magary

Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.

Jef Raskin, interviewed in Doctor Dobb's Journal

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.

Joe Martin, Porterfield

One would think that if you're anonymous⁸, you'd do anything you want, but groups have their own sense of community and what we can do.

John Allen, A network called 'Internet', CBC, 10-08-93

In all large corporations, there is a pervasive⁹ fear that someone, somewhere is having fun with a computer on company time. Networks help alleviate¹⁰ that fear.

John C. Dvorak

There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in his home.

Ken¹¹ Olsen (1926 - ), President, Digital Equipment, 1977

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

Nathaniel Borenstein (1957 - )

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Pablo Picasso (1881 - 1973)

The computer is a moron¹².

Peter Drucker (1909 - 2005)

If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it.

Pierre Gallois

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Rick Cook, The Wizardry Compiled

To err is human--and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Robert Orben

If the automobile¹³ had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing¹⁴ everyone inside.

Robert X. Cringely, InfoWorld magazine

I think computer viruses should count as life. I think it says something about human nature that the only form of life we have created so far is purely¹⁵ destructive. We've created life in our own image.

Stephen Hawking¹⁶ (1942 - )

All programmers are playwrights¹⁷ and all computers are lousy actors.

Unknown

In a few minutes a computer can make a mistake so great that it would have taken many men many months to equal it.

Unknown