How can one classify a true adult? Many people directly attribute age to adulthood¹. The problem with this methodology becomes evident when you discuss the topic with various people of different cultural backgrounds. If you ask each of them what age they believe constitutes the point at which a person progresses from childhood into adulthood, their answers will always be different. Why? Because every one of the answers are based on subjective² opinion. Adulthood is not based age; it’s based strictly³ on emotional maturity⁴.

怎样定义一个真正的成年人？很多人会直接把成年和年龄相挂钩。当你和有着不同文化背景的人来讨论这个话题的时候，你会发现这种分类方式是有明显错误的。当你问其中的每一个人，一个未成年的人到成年人的转折点是几岁，他们的回答总是不同的。为什么？因为他们的回答都是基于自己主观的看法。成年的界定并不是看年龄，而是看心智的成熟。

So what constitutes emotional maturity, and thus adulthood? Here are 20 defining characteristics of a true adult:

那什么是心智的成熟呢？怎样才能成年呢？下面是20条成年人心智成熟的表现：

1. Realizing that maturity is an ongoing⁵ process, not a state, and continuously striving for self improvement.

意识到成熟是一个不断进行的过程，而不是一种状态，要不断提升自己。

2. Able to manage personal jealousy⁶ and feelings of envy.

有能力处理好个人的猜忌和嫉妒情绪。

3. Has the ability to listen to and evaluate the viewpoints of others.

能做好倾听和反思他人的看法。

4. Maintains patience and flexibility⁷ on a daily basis.

每天都能保持耐心和灵活处事的能力。

5. Accepts the fact that you can’t always win, and learns from mistakes instead of whining⁸ about the outcome.

接受你并不一直都是赢家的事实，能从错误中吸取教训，而不是发牢骚。

6. Does not overanalyze negative points, but instead looks for the positive points in the subject being analyzed⁹.

不会钻牛角尖过度悲观，能看到事物积极的一面。

7. Is able to differentiate¹⁰ between rational decision making and emotional impulse.

能区分理智决定和情感冲动之间的不同。

8. Understands that no skill or talent can overshadow the act of preparation.

知道机会总是给予那些做好充分准备的人。

9. Capable of managing temper and anger.

能够处理好自己的脾气和愤怒。

10. Keeps other people’s feeling in mind and limits selfishness.

能考虑到他人的感受，让自己尽力不要太自私。

11. Being able to distinguish between ‘needs’ and ‘wants’.

能区分“需要”和“想要”的不同。

12. Shows confidence without being overly arrogant¹¹.

有充足的自信而又不会让人觉得傲慢。

13. Handles pressure with self composure.

能够沉着地应对压力。

14. Takes ownership and responsibility of personal actions.

能独立自立，也能对自己的事情负责。

15. Manages personal fears.

有能力克服自己的恐惧感。

16. Able to see the various shades of grey between the extremes of black and white in every situation.

能在绝对的“黑”与“白”之间看到事物的多面性。

17. Accepts negative feedback as a tool for self improvement.

勇于接受负面的反馈来促进自我提升。

18. Aware of personal insecurities and self-esteem.

理解个人的不安全感和自尊心。

19. Able to separate true love from transitory infatuation.

能区分什么是真爱，什么是转瞬即逝的迷恋。

20. Understanding that open communication is the key to progression.

明白开放式的交流才是取得提升的关键。

Above all, true adults do what they have to do when it is required of them, and they do what they want when they can. They are able to distinguish between the two and manage their time and efforts accordingly.

综上所述，真正的成年人会在责任到来之时按照要求去做，也知道什么时候才能做他们想做的事。而且他们能区分什么是该做的事，什么是想做的事，也会合理地来安排他们的时间和精力。