If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.

Alfred North Whitehead (1861 - 1947)

Don't accept your dog's admiration¹ as conclusive² evidence that you are wonderful.

Ann Landers (1918 - 2002)

I loathe³ people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts⁵ to bite people themselves.

August Strindberg (1849 - 1912), A Madman's Diary, 1895

Yet the dogs eat of the crumbs⁶ which fall from their masters' table.

Bible, Matthew xv. 27.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement⁷.

Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), (Snoopy)

You can't surprise a man with a dog.

Cindy Chupack, Sex and the City, Don't Ask, Don't Tell, 2000

It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?

Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), Pollyanna, 1912

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.

Fran Lebowitz (1950 - )

When a dog runs at you, whistle for him.

Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)

The dog was created especially for children. He is the god of frolic.

Henry Ward⁴ Beecher (1813 - 1887)

A dog owns nothing, yet is seldom dissatisfied.

Irish Proverb

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow.

Jeff Valdez

Who knew that dog saliva⁸ can mend a broken heart?

Jennifer Neal, nakedjen, 07-22-08

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to.

Joe Gores⁹

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money.

Joe Weinstein

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news.

John B. Bogart (1848 - 1921)

A dog is the greatest gift a parent can give a child. OK, a good education, then a dog.

John Grogan, An Interview with John Grogan, 2008

A person can learn a lot from a dog, even a loopy one like ours. Marley taught me about living each day with unbridled exuberance¹⁰ and joy, about seizing the moment and following your heart. He taught me to appreciate the simple things - a walk in the woods, a fresh snowfall, a nap in a shaft¹¹ of winter sunlight. And as he grew old and achy, he taught me about optimism in the face of adversity. Mostly, he taught me about friendship and selflessness and, above all else, unwavering loyalty¹².

John Grogan, Marley and Me, 2005

We could have bought a small yacht with what we spent on our dog an dall the things he destroyed. Then again, how many yachts wait by the door all day for your return?

John Grogan, Marley and Me, 2005

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.

Josh Billings (1818 - 1885)

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)

We are alone, absolutely alone on this chance planet: and, amid all the forms of life that surround us, not one, excepting the dog, has made an alliance with us.

Maurice Maeterlinck (1862 - 1949)

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

Ogden Nash (1902 - 1971)

On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Peter Steiner, cartoon in The New Yorker, July 5, 1993

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird¹³ religious cult¹⁴.

Rita Rudner

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience¹⁵, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley (1889 - 1945)

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.

Roger Caras

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

Sir Winston Churchill (1874 - 1965)

Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.

Sue Murphy