Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to speak it to?

Clarence Darrow (1857 - 1938)

The English language was carefully, carefully cobbled together by three blind dudes and a German dictionary.

Dave Kellett, Sheldon, 02-01-09

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe¹ would be an apostrophe with fur.

Doug Larson

England and America are two countries separated by a common language.

George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950)

The English have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it.

George Bernard Shaw (1856 - 1950), Pygmalion (1916) preface

Every English poet should master the rules of grammar before he attempts to bend or break them.

Robert Graves (1895 - 1985)

Here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English.

William Shakespeare (1564 - 1616), "The Merry Wives of Windsor", Act 1 scene 4