The place of the father in the modern suburban¹ family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

Bob Hope (1903 - 2003)

Golf isn't a game, it's a choice that one makes with one's life.

Charles Rosin, Northern Exposure, Aurora² Borealis, 1990

There's something intrinsically therapeutic³ about choosing to spend your time in a wide, open park- like setting that non-golfers can never truly understand.

Charles Rosin, Northern Exposure, Aurora Borealis, 1990

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous⁴ clothing.

Dave Barry (1947 - )

It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards⁵ or golf.

H. L. Mencken (1880 - 1956)

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

Jimmy Demaret

The income tax has made more liars⁶ out of the American people than golf has.

Will Rogers (1879 - 1935), Illiterate Digest (1924), "Helping the Girls with their Income Taxes"