Television is more interesting than people. If it were not, we would have people standing¹ in the corners of our rooms.

Alan Corenk

Seeing a murder on television... can help work off one's antagonisms². And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some.

Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

Television has done much for psychiatry³ by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

Alfred Hitchcock (1899 - 1980)

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other.

Ann Landers (1918 - 2002)

Television is the first truly democratic culture - the first culture available to everybody and entirely⁴ governed by what the people want. The most terrifying thing is what people do want.

Clive Barnes

The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.

David Brinkley (1920 - 2003)

Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home.

David Frost

[The television is] an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

David Frost

MTV is the lava⁵ lamp of the 1980's.

Doug Ferrari

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

Dwight D. Eisenhower (1890 - 1969)

Dealing⁶ with network executives is like being nibbled⁷ to death by ducks.

Eric Sevareid

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

Frank Lloyd Wright (1869 - 1959)

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

Television is a new medium. It's called a medium because nothing is well-done.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956), on the radio program The Big Show, Dec. 17, 1950

[Television is] the triumph of machine over people.

Fred Allen (1894 - 1956)

The great thing about television is that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel.

From "Taxi"

Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work.

Gallagher

I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)

Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone.

Hodding Carter

In general, watching children's television is a dark and surreal descent into madness where the characters on the screen talk directly to you.

John Green, Vlogbrothers, A Surreal Descent into Madness: Reviewing Childrens TV, 04-10-12

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Johnny Carson (1925 - 2005)

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007), "Cold Turkey", In These Times, May 10, 2004

Thanks to TV and for the convenience of TV, you can only be one of two kinds of human beings, either a liberal or a conservative.

Kurt Vonnegut (1922 - 2007), "Cold Turkey", In These Times, May 10, 2004

If there's anything unsettling to the stomach, it's watching actors on television talk about their personal lives.

Marlon Brando (1924 - 2004)

Imagine what it would be like if TV actually were good. It would be the end of everything we know.

Marvin Minsky

Television is for appearing on - not for looking at.

Noel Coward (1899 - 1973)

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

Peter De Vries

All television is children's television.

Richard P. Adler

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive⁸ and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.

Rod Serling (1924 - 1975)

Television has raised writing to a new low.

Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974)