I took myself out on a date

带上自己去约会，

and said I'm looking grand,

我将去寻找酒店。

and when I got my courage up

当我鼓起勇气，

I asked to hold my hand.

我要牵起自己的手。

I took me to a restaurant

我带自己走进一个饭店，

and then a movie show.

电影正在播放。

I put my arm around me

我用自己的胳膊搂着自己。

in the most secluded¹ row.

在最隐蔽处排着队。

I whispered sweetly in my ear

我在自己的耳边喃喃自语，

of happiness and bliss²,

带着快乐与幸福，

and then I almost slapped³ me

我几乎要打自己，

when I tried to steal a kiss.

当我试图窃取一个吻。

Then afterwards I walked me home

之后，我便回家了。

and since I'm so polite

因为我非常有礼貌，

I thanked me for a perfect date

我感谢自己给了一个完美的日子，

and wished myself goodnight.

希望我自己晚安。

There's just one little problem

这仅仅只是一个小问题，

and it kind of hurts my pride.

它伤害了我的自大，

Myself would not invite me in

我自己不会邀请我进来，

so now I'm locked outside!

所以我现在被锁在了外面！