Love means that I know the person I love.I am aware of the many sides of the other person not just the beautiful sides but also the limitations,inconsistencies and flaws.I have an awareness¹ of the other's feelings and thoughts,and I experience aomething of the core of that person.I can penetrate² social masks and roles and see the other on a deeper level.

爱意味着我了解我所爱的人，我知道那个人的方方面面——不仅仅是美好的一面，而且也包括他能力所限，言行不一和有其他缺点的一面。我知道那个人的思想和情感，我体验到那个人身上的某种本质的东西；我能透过对方在社交场合的表现和在社会上所担当的角色，看到他更内在的东西。

Love means that I can care about the welfare of the person I have.To the extent that it is genuine,my caring is not smothering³ of the person or a possessive thing.On the contrary ,my caring liberates⁴ both of us.If I care about you,I am concernedabout your growth,and I hope you will become all that you can become.Consequently ,I don't put up roadblocks to what you do that enhances you as a person,even though it may result in my discomfort⁵ at times.

爱意味着我关心我所爱的人的幸福。只要我的关心是真诚的，我的关心对我所爱的人就不会是一种压制，也不会是一种占有性的依附。相反，我的关心使我们两人都获得解放。因此，对你为完善自己人格所做的一切，我决不设置障碍，即使你做的事情有时会让我不舒服。

Love means having respect for the dignity of the person I love.If I love you ,I can see you as a separate person,with your own values and thoughts and feelings,and I do not insist that you surrender your identity and conform to an image of what I expect you to be for me.I can allow you and encourage you to stand alone and to be who you are,and I avoid you as an object or using your primarily to gratify my own needs.

爱意味着尊重我所爱的人的人格尊严。如果我爱你，我就会把你看成是一个独立的人，你有你自己的价值观，有你自己的思想和感情，我不会要你放弃你的特性，而为了我把你自己塑造成我期望你成为的那种人；我能够允许并鼓励你独立自主，保持你的特性，这样我就不会把你当作一件东西来对待，不会让你把主要精力放在来满足我自己的需要。

Love means having a responsibility toward the person I love.If I love you,I am responsive to most of your major needs as a person.This responsibility does not entail⁶ my doing for you what are capable of doing for yourself,nor does it mean that I run your life for you.It does imply acknowledging that what I am and what I do affect you,so that I that I am directly involved in your happiness and your misery⁷.A lover does does have the capacity to hurt or neglect the loved one,and in this sense I see that love entails⁸ an acceptance of some responsibility for the impact my way of being has on me.

爱意味着对我所爱的人有一种责任感。如果我爱你，我就对你作为人的大多数的主要需求有反应。这 个责任不等于我替你做你自己能够做的事情。也不意味着我管理你的生活。但是它确实意味着我的为人和我的所作所为对你有影响，因此我直接与你的幸福和痛苦有关。一个爱别人的人确实可能会伤害或忽视所爱之人，从这个意义上说，爱意味着我要对我的生方式对你的影响承担一定的责任。

Love means growth for both myself and the person I love.If I love you.I am grawing as a result of my love.You are a atimulant for me to become more fully⁹ what I might become ,and my loving enhances your beings as well.We each grow as a result of caring and being cared for ,we each share in an enriching that does not detract from being.

爱意味着我自己和我所爱的人共同成长。如果我爱你，我也会因为爱你而发展，你激励我成为更加充实的人，我对你的爱也提高你的素质。我们俩都因彼此相爱而成长，我们的这种关系使双方都感到更加充实，又丝毫不削弱我们自己的特性。

Love means making a commitment to the person I love.This commitment does not entail surrendering our total selves to each other,nor does it imply that relationship is necessarily permanent.IT DOES ENTAIL A willingness to stay with each other in times of pain,uncertainty,struggle,and despair,as well as in times of calm and enjoyment¹⁰.

爱意味着对我所爱的人作出一种承诺。这种承诺并不需要我们相互放弃自身的特性，也不表示我们的这种关系一定是永久的关系。这种承诺既包含愿意在痛苦时刻，在犹豫时刻，在斗争时刻和绝望时刻相互支持，也包含共享平静和欢乐的时刻。

Love mean trusting the person I love .If I love you,I trust you will accept my caring and my love and that you won't deliberately¹¹ hurt me.I trust that you will find me lovable and that you won't abandon me;I trust the reciprocal nature of our love.If we trust each other,we are willing to be open to each other and can shed masks and pretenses¹² and reveal our true selves.

爱意味着信任我所爱的人。如果我爱你，我相信你会接受我的关心和爱恋，而不会故意伤害我。我相信你会发现我很可爱而不会抛弃我；我相信我们之间的爱将惠及对方。如果我们相互信任，我们就愿意相互敞开我们的心扉，我们就能够去掉假面具，去掉伪装，显示我们的真面貌。

Love can tolerate imperfection.In a lave relationship there are times of boredom,times when I many feel like giving up,times of real strain,and times I experience an impasse¹³.Authentic¹⁴ love does not imply enduring happiness .I can stay during rough times,however,because I can remember what we had togrther in the past,and I can picture what we will have together in our future if we care though to face our problems and work them through.

爱可以容忍不完美。在爱的关系中，必然有厌烦的时候，有我想放弃的时候，有十分紧张的时候，有我感到没有出路的时候。真正的爱并不意味着永远快乐。我之所以能够在困难 时期和你在一起'是因为我记得我们过去共 同度过的时光；是因为我能够想象，如果我们对问题予以足够的视，并因此能够面对问题而且度过这个时期，我们将来在一起的时候会是什么样子。