With the development of city civilization,family violence seems already went out of our sight. While we are celebrating that kids are not getting hurt in family violence, there is damage way appears.This kind of way will not hurt child physically¹, but spiritual. We call that soft violence, which means hurting people with words.

随着城市文明的发展，我们似乎已经看不到家庭暴力的迹象了。然而就在我们庆祝孩子不会被家庭暴力伤害的时候，另一种伤害方式出现了。这种方式不会给孩子造成身体上的伤害，而是心灵上的。我们叫这种作软暴力，就是用语言伤害人们。

I can see that most parents still not understand what does soft violence means,they usually think that beating kids is violence, but soft violence, they have no idea. For instance², most parents would say the word to kids like “You have to study hard, or you will not find a good job. And if you don’t have a good job, how could you suppose to wait on and support us when we are getting old?”does it sound familiar to you? The words like that will cause serious psychological³ burden to young little kids, and they wouldstudy every hard and ignore their health, while they are in the high stress to worry about they will not find a good job, and have no ability to support their old parents, that would become a black sheep.

|我能看到大部分父母都不知道软暴力是什么意思，他们通常认为打孩子才是暴利，但是软暴力，还真不知道是什么。例如，许多父母会对孩子说这样的话“你要努力学习，不然你就会找不到好工作。如果你找不到好工作，那在我们老的时候就养不了我们了。”这对你来说耳熟么？这种话会对小孩子造成严重的心理负担，他们会无视健康而搏命学习，同时还要处在担忧以后找不到好工作，没办法赡养父母的高压下，这会让他们变成不孝子女。

In addition, “you classmate is better than you in math or English, why would you do an excellent job just like them?” this kind of word will hurt kid’s esteem deeply. They might think that they are never good enough for their parents, and it will probably lead to depressive disorder⁴.

还有，“你的同学在数学和英语都好过你，你怎么就不能像他们那样出色呢？”这种话会深深地伤害孩子的自尊。他们会认为他们对父母来说永远都不够好，这很可能会引发抑郁症。

Therefore, when parents teach children, they should not only use physical violence but also not soft violence, because the damage of both violenceis equal.

因此，当父母在教育孩子的时候，他们不仅不能用物理暴力，也不能用软暴力，因为这两种方式造成的伤害是相等的。