4 Reasons Why You Should Not Look Through Your Partner’s Phone

4个为什么你不应该看你的伴侣的电话的理由

Your partner gets up and off the couch and tells you “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be out in a bit.”

你的伴侣起身从沙发上站起来,告诉你“我要洗澡。我会出去一会。”

You say “Okay.”

你说“好。”

Then a minute later you hear the bathroom door lock, the shower turn on, and finally, the pleasant sound of water crashing on the tub. And then it hits you! Your partner left their phone right next to you, and you have a sudden and profound urge to look through it!

然后一分钟后你听到浴室门锁了,淋浴打开,最后,悦耳的哗哗流水声撞在浴缸里。然后这提醒了你!伴侣离把他们的电话留在你旁边,和你有一个突然而深刻的想看它的冲动!

You know the password and you know you can easily search through it while they’re in the shower. You know you have at least 10, if not 15 minutes to go to town on their text messages and even email, and you have a burning desire to do just that! You justify¹ your actions in your head and ready yourself to scour² through it.

你知道密码,你知道你可以很容易地搜索它在他们洗澡时。你知道你有至少有十分钟,如果不是15分钟去小镇甚至可以发短信和电子邮件,和你有一个强烈的愿望去这样做!你在你的脑海中证明你的行为,准备好自己彻底搜寻。

But here are 4 reasons why that is a terrible idea!

但是这里有4个为什么这是一个可怕的想法的原因!

1. You’re Violating Their Trust In You

你违背了他们的信任

Your partner has put trust in you by leaving their phone out in the open. They have shown respect and faith in you, so at the very least, you should offer them the same in return. By secretly searching through their phone, you’re breaking this trust and respect.

你的伴侣信任你把手机打开留在你身边。他们表现出尊重和信任你,至少,你应该给他们同样的回报。通过秘密搜索手机,你打破了这种信任和尊重。

2. You’re Setting Your Relationship Back

你让你们的关系退后

By violating the trust you seemingly had with your partner, you set your relationship back. Whether you find anything suspicious doesn’t matter. The fact that you don’t trust your companion shows that you’re not heading in the right direction with them. The insecurity of believing that they are not committed to you speaks volumes about where you really are with them. By hiding something, you only traverse further in the wrong direction!

你似乎违反了你的伴侣的信任,你让你们的关系退后。你是否发现任何可疑的并不重要。你不信任你的伴侣的事实表明你不与他们朝着正确的方向前进。相信他们的不安全感不是致力于你说明你真的在哪里。通过隐藏一些东西,你只遍历进一步推向错误的方向!

3. Many Different Negative Scenarios³ Can Play Out

许多不同的消极场景

If you do decide to look through their phone, all sorts of unintended consequences can play out. For one, your partner can catch you—which would not only be incredibly awkward, but potentially relationship-ending! Nobody wants someone who secretively and connivingly goes through their stuff when they’re not around. If your partner catches you doing this, there is a decent chance they will end things with you.

如果你决定查他们的手机,各种各样的意想不到的后果会发生。首先,你的伴侣可以捕获——不仅会非常尴尬,但潜在结束关系!没人想要和纵容和隐匿地翻他们的东西的人在一起,当他们不在时。如果你这样做,让你的伴侣逮到有一个体面的机会，他们将结束与你的关系。

You could also see something you weren’t meant to see. There are certain personal things that your partner does not need to be sharing, and you might happen to stumble upon one of these things. From awkward pictures of themselves that were intended only for them to see, to really personal messages between them and their family or friends, to weird⁴ searches they’ve made on Google. “Some stones are better left unturned,” as the saying goes, and this cannot be better emphasized than in looking through someone’s phone. You may not like what you see.

你也可以看到你没有看到的东西。有一些个人的事情,你的伴侣不需要分享,和你可能碰巧偶然发现这些事情之一。从尴尬的自己的照片,目的是只给他们看,他们之间真正的个人信息和他们的家人或朋友,奇怪的在谷歌上搜索他们。“有些石头更强”,俗话说,这不能比查看某人的电话更能强调。你可能不喜欢你所看到的。

4. You Wouldn’t Want Them To Do It

你不会想让他们这样做

If it were you going into that shower, you know for sure that you would not want your partner going through your stuff! Who would? Some people obviously wouldn’t care as much as others about this, especially those who have nothing to hide, but even still, nobody would enjoy somebody else secretly invading their privacy.

如果你去淋浴,你确定你不会希望你的伴侣翻你的东西!谁会?有些人显然不会和别人一样关心这一点,尤其是那些没什么可隐瞒的,但是即便如此,没有人会喜欢别人秘密入侵他们的隐私。

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

对待别人像你希望被对待一样。

This is typically the most effective expression for interacting with other people. If you wouldn’t want someone doing something to you, you should probably not do it to them either.

这通常是与他人互动最有效的表达。如果你不想别人对你做的事情,你不应该做给他们。

Instead of trying to look through their phone when they are not around, try being more upfront and honest with them about things. If you suspect they may be hiding something, ask them. Talk to them before secretly breaking their trust. This upfront honesty is far better than secretively going through their personal information when they are not around. If you truly have trust with your partner, however, you won’t even have to consider this option.

而不是试图翻手机当他们不在时,尝试更为坦率和诚实的事情。如果你怀疑他们可能隐藏着什么,问他们。在跟他们秘密地打破他们的信任之前。这个前期诚实是远比隐匿地翻他们的个人信息时当他们不在时更好。如果你真的信任你的伴侣,然而,你甚至不需要考虑这个选项。

If you still feel an urge to do this, then you should seriously question your relationship. Perhaps you are with someone who doesn’t really want to be with you. Or perhaps you are with someone whom you really don’t want to be with! Either way, there is definitely a deeper, underlying⁵ issue at hand.

如果你仍然感到有一种要做到这一点的冲动,那你就应该认真的对待你的关系问题。也许你的伴侣并不真的想和你在一起。或者你与你不想在一起的某人在一起!无论哪种方式,绝对有一个更深层次的根本问题。