“No he wasn’t. He and Sanaubar had Hassan, didn’t they? They had Hassan--”

“不，他不是的。他跟莎娜芭生了哈桑，不是吗？他们有哈桑……”

“No they didn’t,” Rahim Khan said. “不，哈桑不是他们生的。”

“Yes they did!”

“是的，是他们生的！”

“No they didn’t, Amir.”

“不，不是他们，阿米尔。”

“Then who--”

“那么是谁……”

“I think you know who.”I felt like a man sliding down a steep cliff, clutching at shrubs¹ and tangles² of brambles and coming up empty-handed. The room was swooping³ up and down, swaying side to side. “Did Hassan know?” I said through lips that didn’t feel like my own. Rahim Khan closed his eyes. Shook his head.

“我想你知道是谁。”我觉得自己好像堕入万丈深渊，拼命想抓住树枝和荆棘的藤蔓，却什么也没拉到。突然之间天旋地转，房间左摇右晃。“哈桑知道吗？”这话仿佛不是从我口中说出来的。拉辛汗闭上眼睛，摇摇头。

“You bastards⁴,” I muttered. Stood up. “You goddamn bastards!” I screamed. “All of you, you bunch of lying goddamn bastards!”

“你这个混蛋，”我喃喃说，站起来，“你们这群该死的混蛋！”我大叫，“你们全部，你们这群该死的说谎的混蛋！”

“Please sit down,” Rahim Khan said.

“请你坐下。”拉辛汗说。

“How could you hide this from me? From him?” I bellowed⁵. “Please think, Amir Jan. It was a shameful⁶ situation. People would talk. All that a man had back then, all that he was, was his honor, his name, and if people talked... We couldn’t tell anyone, surely you can see that.” He reached for me, but I shed his hand. Headed for the door. “你们怎么可以瞒着我？瞒着他？”我悲愤地说。“拜托你想想，亲爱的阿米尔。这是丢人的事情，人们会说三道四。那时，男人所能仰仗的全部就是他的声誉、他的威名，而如果人们议论纷纷……我们不能告诉任何人，你一定也知道。”他伸手来摸我，但我推开他的手，埋头奔向门口。

“Amir jan, please don’t leave.”I opened the door and turned to him. “Why? What can you possibly say to me? I’m thirty-eight years old and I’ve Just found out my whole life is one big fucking lie! What can you possibly say to make things better? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing!”

“亲爱的阿米尔，求求你别走。”我打开门，转向他，“为什么？你想对我说什么？我今年三十八岁了，我刚刚才发现我一辈子活在一个他妈的谎言之下！你还想说些什么，能让事情变好？没有！没有！”

And with that, I stormed out of the apartment.

我扔下这些话，嘭嘭冲出公寓。