The first time you meet someone, in the first moment you form an impression in
your mind of that person. Your reactions to other people, however, are really
just barometers1 for how you perceive yourself. Your reactions to others say
more about you than they do about others. You cannot really love or hate about
yourself. We are usually drawn2 to those who are most like us and tend to
dislike those who display those aspects of ourselves that we dislike.
Therefore, you can allow others to be the mirror to illuminate3 more clearly
your own feelings of self-worth. Conversely, you can view the people you judge
negatively as mirrors to show you what you are not accepting about yourself.
To coexist peacefully with others, you will need to learn tolerance4. A big
challenge is to shift your perspective radically5 from judgment6 of other to a
lifelong exploration of yourself. Your task is to assess all the decisions,
judgments7 you make onto others and to begin to view them as clues to how you
can heal yourself and become whole.
I recently has a business lunch with a man who displayed objectionable table
manners. My first reaction was to judge him as offensive and his table manners
as disgusting. When I noticed that I was judging him, I stopped and asked
myself what I was feeling. I discovered that I was embarrassed to be seen with
someone who was chewing with his mouth open and loudly blowing his nose. I was
astonished to find how much I cared about how the other people in the
restaurant perceived me.
Remember that your judgment of someone will not serve as a protective shield
against you becoming like him. Just because I judge my lunch partner as
offensive does not prevent me from ever looking or acting8 like him. In the
same way, extending tolerance to him would not cause me to suddenly begin
chewing my food with my mouth open.
When you approach life in this manner, those with whom you have the greatest
grievances9 as well as those you admire and love can be seen as mirrors,
guiding your to discover parts of yourself that you reject and to embrace your
greatest quality.
1 barometers [bə'rɒmɪtəz] 第8级 | |
气压计,晴雨表( barometer的名词复数 ) | |
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2 drawn [drɔ:n] 第11级 | |
v.(draw的过去式)拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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3 illuminate [ɪˈlu:mɪneɪt] 第7级 | |
vt.照亮,照明;用灯光装饰;说明,阐释 | |
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4 tolerance [ˈtɒlərəns] 第7级 | |
n.宽容;容忍,忍受;耐药力;公差 | |
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5 radically ['rædikəli] 第7级 | |
ad.根本地,本质地 | |
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6 judgment ['dʒʌdʒmənt] 第7级 | |
n.审判;判断力,识别力,看法,意见 | |
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7 judgments [d'ʒʌdʒmənts] 第7级 | |
判断( judgment的名词复数 ); 鉴定; 评价; 审判 | |
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8 acting [ˈæktɪŋ] 第7级 | |
n.演戏,行为,假装;adj.代理的,临时的,演出用的 | |
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9 grievances [ɡ'ri:vnsɪz] 第9级 | |
n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 );苦衷;不满;牢骚 | |
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