I met my husband 43 years ago, on a blind date. Needless to say, it was successful.

我在43岁的时候遇到了我现在的丈夫，还是在一次相亲上。不用说，我们是相亲成功了。

Over the years, I've noticed as friends compared stories about their nuptials¹, how many of them met on blind dates. I started to think about what made these blind dates work out so well. What did they all have in common?

这些年来，在朋友们相互分享自己是如何步入婚姻殿堂的时候，我注意到其中有不少人是在相亲上认识自己的另一半的。我开始想，是什么让这些相亲进展得如此顺利呢？其中都有什么共同之处呢？

Here are ten things I think will lead you to a successful blind date:

这里有十个我觉得会让你相亲成功的方法：

1. Know the person who is fixing you up, and be sure that person knows you. If your matchmaker knows you, your values, likes and dislikes, they will have a good handle on what would be an awesome² blind date. Communicating with your matchmaker about your proposed meeting will go a long way towards having a good experience. Be up front and don't be afraid to ask for a picture or description of your date. The more information you have in the beginning, the better it is in the end.

1. 了解约你去相亲的那个人，要保证人家也了解你。如果给你牵红线的人了解你，知道你的价值观和喜好，那他们就会很清楚怎样安排一场完美的相亲。向媒人了解一下这场相亲的细节，这样能使相亲过程更加令人满意。走在最前面，要敢于问媒人要对象的照片或者描述。开始的时候你拥有的信息越多，结局就会更好。

2. Start with a phone call. Before going out on a blind date, it is important to talk to your prospective³ date on the phone, listen to her voice, ask about her background and interests, so when you go on that first date, though it's blind, it's not in the dark.

2. 从打电话开始。去相亲之前，在电话里和未来的约会对象谈谈，听听她的声音，问一下她的背景和兴趣爱好。这样在第一次约会的时候，虽然双方是第一次见面，但已经对对方有所了解了。

3. Remember good hygiene⁴. Though it goes without saying, it's impossible to be objective with yourself. As a result, you may have a hygiene problem and not know it. A good buddy⁵ can put you on the right track ASAP.

3. 注意个人卫生。虽然这是理所当然的，但是客观评价自己是不可能的，所以你可能有个人卫生上的问题自己却不知道。好朋友可以马上发现并帮你解决掉你的问题。

4. Limit alcohol intake⁶, and never drink before your date. Though nerves can tempt⁷ you to take that one calming drink, override⁸ that impulse and meet your date with clarity.

4. 喝酒要节制，永远不要在约会前喝酒。紧张会让你想喝一杯酒来冷静冷静，但你应该战胜这种欲望，头脑清醒地去赴会。

5. Have fun. Find something new and interesting for both of you. From your phone conversations, you already have a heads up about her interests, likes and dislikes.

5. 找乐子。做一些对你们两个人都是新奇有趣的事情。在和对方的那一通电话里，你已经对她的兴趣爱好有所了解了。

6. Be authentic⁹. If you allow yourself to be the real you, then that second date will be because she likes you.

6. 做真实的自己。如果你愿意做真实的自己，那么对方和你第二次约会的原因是她真的喜欢你。

7. Be positive. Nobody likes a curmudgeon¹⁰.

7. 态度要亲和友善。没人喜欢脾气不好的人。

8. Don't control, don't be possessive, and don't manipulate. Women listen for that on a first date, and it is often their number one red flag.

8. 不要想着控制、占有、暗中操控。女人在第一次约会时就能把这些听出来，而通常她们觉得这些是头号危险信号。

9. Be generous. Women read generosity¹¹ as a reflection of a generous heart. For example, be generous with your feelings, be open, share your story, listen to hers... and pick up the bill.

9. 要大方。大方在女人眼中代表着内心宽容。比如说，大方地表露自己的情感，放开一点，分享你的故事，倾听她的故事……还有主动埋单。

10. Dress for success. Put on something you're comfortable in, that you like, and that you don't have to think about once you walk out the door. When you feel good about yourself, you emote confidence, rather than insecurity and neediness¹².

10. 人靠衣装。穿你觉得舒服的衣服，那些你喜欢的、出门后不会再在意的衣服。当你自我感觉良好的时候，你就会表现出自信，而不是缺乏安全感和拘束的感觉。