All too often, women are in a hurry. We want to hurry up and find THE GUY, get married, have babies, buy a house, etc. We don't enjoy the seasons of life we are in.

女人总是生活得匆匆忙忙。我们想要赶快找到自己的梦中情人、结婚成家、生孩子、买房子等等等等，我们从未享受过自己生活的四季变迁。

I am taking this time to reflect on my single days in writing a letter to my single self. I want to remind her of a few things.

此刻，我想给自己写一封信，反思一下自己单身期间的生活状况，有几件事我想要提醒她。

Hey girl,

嘿，姑娘：

So it's a Monday night, you have your wine, Twitter is open and you are live-tweeting The Bachelor thinking to yourself, "Where is my rose?" Let me tell you, Neely, once you are married, these Bachelor nights will not look much different. Only instead of wine, you'll be eating dinner with your husband, still live-tweeting.

今天是周一，晚上，你喝着红酒，开着推特，你一边看着《亿万未婚夫》一边用推特吐槽，心里想着，“我的王子会在哪儿呢？”让我告诉你吧，一旦你结婚了，那些看《亿万未婚夫》的夜晚也不会有什么不同，不过你不是在喝红酒，而是和你的丈夫一起吃着晚餐，手里还是在刷推特在线吐槽。

Anyway, Single Neely, enjoy this time. Not because it's better than marriage — trust me, marriage is better. But enjoy it because you should be appreciating time with yourself and learning who you are. Go out with your friends more. Do all the happy hours, drink all the wines, and flirt¹ with the cute waiter. Why? Because WHY NOT?!

单身的妮莉，无论如何，请享受这一刻。不是因为单身比婚后生活好——相信我，婚后生活更幸福。你要享受这段时间的原因是，你应该珍惜独处的时间，并借此机会更了解自己，多和朋友们聚聚，多做让你开心的事情，多去喝喝红酒，跟可爱的服务生调情，为什么要这样做？因为你为什么不这样做呢？

When that guy ghosts you after three great dates, it stings². You think, What did I do wrong? Trust me — it's him. He has issues that he will feel the need to share with you three years later. Sigh. Men.

当一个男人跟你一起度过了三次绝妙的约会，却甩了你，这确实很糟糕，你会想，我做错了什么？相信我——是他有问题，他心里有一些缺陷，他觉得自己应该在三年之后再和你分享他的故事。哎，男人就是这样！

When you and He Who Shall Not Be Named go back and forth³, up and down, and hot and cold, just shake your head, nod and smile and know that "This too shall pass." You'll end it when you've REALLY had enough, and thank God you did.

当你和某某人在一起经历了无数感情波折、感情颠簸、热战冷战，你就摇摇头，给自己一个微笑，告诉自己，“这些都会过去的。”当你觉得自己真的受够了，你就能够放手了，谢天谢地你真的做到了

Remember your favorite episode⁴ of How I Met Your Mother, Remember what Stella says to Ted⁵: "I know that you are tired of waiting, and you may have to wait a little while more, but she's on her way, Ted. And she's getting here as fast as she can." That quote is so true. Replay it over and over and over. Just sub in "she" for "he" and "Ted" for "Neely." You get it!

还记得《老爸老妈浪漫史》中你最喜欢的一集，记得斯泰拉对泰德说的话，“我知道你已经厌倦了等待，或许你不得不再多等一会儿，不过她已经在朝你走来了。泰德，她正在全速朝你奔过来。”这段话真是至理名言，你要一遍一遍的重温这句话。只要把“她”换成“他”，把“泰德”换成“妮莉”，懂了吧！

Girl, you are single; one day you will look back, and even though you are beyond happily married, you will remember the boozy brunches⁶, marathon shopping sessions, random⁷ road trips, and late nights spent on the phone with your best friend talking about nothing.

姑娘，现在你还单着，虽然你还没有找到幸福的婚姻生活，不过当某天你回头看时，你会怀念那些微醺的早中餐、马拉松式的购物行动、随心闲逛的公路旅行，还有那些和闺蜜闲聊至深夜然而并没有什么信息量的夜晚。

Now, your husband comes first. You think of his needs, his wants, his TV shows (mostly yours still), the foods he wants to eat, and what you two will do together every weekend. It's wonderful and magical and you wouldn't trade it for the world. But don't be in such a hurry to let go of your single self too soon.

现在，你的丈夫才是第一位的。你要顾虑他的感受、他的需求、他想要吃的食物、你们每个周末要去做些什么活动。这种生活美好而富有魅力，即便给你一个宇宙你也不愿意舍弃它。可是，请不要着急着太过早地放弃你单身时的自我。

Be selfish now. You have to.

多为自己着想，请务必这样做。

Live it up, Single Neely!

好好生活吧，单身的妮莉！

Love,

爱你的，

Married Neely

已婚的妮莉