When we get super-busy, some friendships fall by the wayside. But that doesn't mean you can't revive the relationship. Even if a lot of time has elapsed, it's worth saving those nurturing² friends who know you deep down and whom you can confide³ in and call in a crisis. Wanting to rekindle⁴ a friendship isn't enough, though. You have to find a way to reconnect, which can be difficult after months or years of sporadic-or zero-contact. Here are the best first moves to make to get your friend back in your life.

我们的生活越来越忙碌，朋友间的交情渐渐变淡了，但这并不代表友情就此终止。即使已很久没联系，也要留住那些真正和你心灵相通、关键时刻值得信赖的益友。然而光想不做可没用。在长久不联系、彼此都已疏远的情况下，你得突破万难敌找出一个重拾联系的方法。以下是给你的几点小建议，让你的老朋友重新回到你的生活中：

1. Write Her a Facebook Message

去她的社交网络页面上留言

Getting in touch electronically is one of the easiest ways to catch up. But what do you say in that first note? Start with some information about how busy you've been and then add in details about what you've been doing. Sharing updates about your life can encourage your friend to reply with the same openness. Once you've reconnected, make plans to see each other in person. You can't substitute Facebook or other forms of social media for real relationships.

网络时代，用电子方式联络是最简便不过的了。不过第一句该说什么呢?说说自己最近很忙，并可以具体说说自己到底在忙些啥。因为主动分享自己的生活能鼓励你的朋友也反馈同样的信息。一旦连络上后，可以约着出来见个面。毕竟社交网络上的交情并不能代表真正的感情。

2. Reconnect Over a Favorite Pastime

找回旧日共处时光

An activity that you used to do together can rev¹ up a stalled friendship. Since that drew you together in the past, it should reignite positive memories and bring you closer again Start by emailing your friend with a list of shared favorite activities and suggest doing one of those. Anything from going shopping to visiting that coffee shop you both love can rebuild your bond.

通过重温曾经一起做过的事可以很好地重塑友情。过往的经历会重燃你们美好的回忆，并因此让人变得更为亲密。不如给老朋友发封邮件，列上一串以前曾经一起做过的事，向TA建议再去做一次。只要能让你们重拾旧关系，无论是外出购物、或去喜欢的咖啡馆小坐，都很好。

3. Send a Handwritten Card

寄张手写贺卡

A note in the mail can be a welcome surprise for a friend you haven't spoken to in a while. And there's no need to wait until a holiday for an excuse to send it; a "just because" card can restart your relationship anytime. Women are busy and don't want to feel that the friendship comes with too many strings⁵ attached. So avoid mentioning the past or specific dates when you're available to meet up. Instead, leave the message open-ended, explaining that you're available for lunch or drinks in the next couple of weeks, she says. And remind her of the best way to contact you.

对许久不联系的朋友来说，一封突如其来的信绝对是个惊喜。并非只有假期才能寄卡片，因为一张“问候卡”能立即拉近你们的关系。女人身上的负担很繁重，她们不喜欢压力太大的友情。因此，不要在卡片里跟对方约某月某日某时的具体见面事项，而应该婉转地提出自己未来几周都有空、想约她出来吃顿饭或者喝杯咖啡，并顺便附上自己的联系方式。这样更好。

4. Set a Phone Date

找时间煲电话粥

Hearing a friend's voice can be a great way to reconnect. But with hectic⁶ schedules, you may wind up playing phone tag for a while before you catch each other. That's why it's best to schedule a chat. Leave a voicemail with times you're available. It may feel weird⁷ to call out of the blue, but people understand. Once you've got your friend on the phone, be sure to set up time for another phone date or an in-person meeting, she adds.

用真实的声音交流是极赞的老友联系方式。不过人人都有自己的安排，电话畅聊也许需要点运气。这就是为啥我们建议你先预约一次“电话聊天” 时间。给她留条语音信息，告诉她你什么时候有空。你可能会觉得没头没脑突然邀约挺奇怪的，但一般人们都能够理解。只要你们电话通了，那就赶紧约下一次煲电话粥的时间吧，面对面聊天也行。

5. Do Something Unexpected and Kind

做件出其不意又充满温情的事

Whether it's sending a handmade present or her favorite type of cookies, preparing a small surprise can go a long way in rekindling⁸ a friendship, especially with someone you once considered a good pal⁹. This will open your friend's heart to you, which will further the friendship. Just don't go overboard with a nice gesture; mailing something affordable¹⁰ rather than showing up at your buddy's doorstep is your best bet.

无论是送件手工制作的礼物还是送她最喜欢的点心，一个小礼物能大大帮助你们重拾旧日友情。这招对那种以前就是你死党的人来讲，尤其有用。它会让朋友打开心扉，从而和你继续这份友情。只别做得太过火就行，比如突然出现在TA家门口之类的……寄一个不太贵重的小礼物是最好的选择。

6. Throw a Dinner Party

办一次晚宴派对

Chances are there's more than one friend you've been meaning to catch up with, so inviting¹¹ over a group can restart multiple friendships at once. Let your buddies¹² know how much they mean to you with a girlfriend gratitude¹³ dinner. Consider inviting women who all know each other, such as a few former coworkers, to simplify planning and keep the dinner conversation flowing.

想同时和好几个老友保持联系?不如把她们都请到家里来。举办一场“姐妹感恩晚餐”，这会让你的朋友们明白她们对你来讲是那么的重要。最好邀请那些互相都认识的人，比如前同事之类的，这样气氛自在舒适，排队自然能大获成功。

7. Invite Her Along to an Event

邀请朋友一起参加活动

Have an extra ticket to a concert, party or book reading? Bringing your friend to a gathering¹⁴ can be more casual-and less intimidating-than meeting one on one. This takes the pressure off and lets both of you relax in a group environment. Rather than jumping into a serious discussion of why you drifted apart, you'll be socializing with other people or enjoying some entertainment, which can make your reunion less awkward.

手头有张演唱会、派对或读书会多余的票?带朋友出去参加活动，这会比单独相约见面要更轻松愉快。这样能卸下你俩身上的包袱，让你们彻底放松在团体的氛围中。与其面对面谈话时，冷不丁突然跳到“当初我为啥疏远你”之类的不愉快话题，还不如跟大伙一起出去玩，这能让你们跟别人自由互动，从而减轻尴尬的情绪。

8. Try Out a New Experience

一起尝试新经历

Creating fun memories together is a sure way to rekindle a friendship, says Chua. Email your friend about meeting up and suggest a list of activities you've been meaning to try for your get-together¹⁵. Some ideas: playing paintball, going rock climbing, taking dance lessons and going trekking¹⁶, says Chua. "This is a great way to learn new things about your friend and find fresh commonalities to bond over."

一直制造欢乐回忆，绝对可以让你们重拾友情。你可以给她写封邮件，提议一起去试试最近流行的新鲜玩意儿，比如彩弹实战、攀岩、舞蹈课、负重徒步等等。这些新事物能让你了解到她的另一面，并让你们再度找到相通之处，从而恢复友谊。