Forgive me， I'm no good at this． I can't write back． I never read your letter． I can't say I got your note． I haven't had the strength to open the envelope． The mail stacks up by the door． Your hand's illegible¹． Your postcards were defaced． Wash your wet hair? Any document you meant to send has yet to reach me． The untied² parcel service never delivered． I regret to say I'm unable to reply to your unexpressed desires． I didn't get the book you sent． By the way， my computer was stolen． Now I'm unable to process words． I suffer from aphasia³． I've just returned from Kenya and Korea． Didn't you get a card from me yet? What can I tell you? I forgot what I was going to say． I still can't find a pen that works and then I broke my pencil． You know how scarce paper is these days． I admit I haven't been recycling． I never have time to read the Times． I'm out of shopping bags to put the old news in． I didn't get to the market． I meant to clip the coupons⁴． I haven't read the mail yet． I can't get out the door to work， so I called in sick． I went to bed with writer's cramp⁵． If I couldn't get back to writing， I thought I'd catch up on my reading． Then Oprah came on with a fabulous⁶ author plugging 6her best selling book．