"I worked as a bartender/waitress at a bar inside an upscale health-food grocery store (it's a real thing, I promise). Most of our clientele was well-off retirees and 30-something recently divorced men hoping to get a date with someone coming in after a yoga class. Generally a nice group of customers, but definitely rich, uptight¹ people. Forgetting to bring salt to some might be a huge offense², but automatically bringing it causes others to give you a lecture about sodium³ intake⁴. It was a difficult balancing act.

“我曾在一家高档健康食品杂货店里面担任酒吧的酒保兼服务生（真的是健康食品，我保证）。我们的大多数客户是富裕的退休人员和30岁刚离婚并希望与一个刚上完瑜伽课的女人约会的男人。基本上都是些很友善的顾客，不过都真的有钱，而且要求比较高。忘记给他们送上盐可能会引起他们的强烈反感，但拿了盐的话他们又会给你上一门有关钠摄入量的课。这个动作的轻重真的很难拿捏。”

"It was St. Patrick's Day. There was also a March Madness game with the local university team playing and we were short-staffed. Needless to say, it was an insane evening with me rushing around serving corned beef and cabbage, pouring Guinness, and making sure no one was becoming belligerent⁵.

“那天是圣帕特里克节，当时正在进行“疯狂三月”的比赛，当地大学的校队有参加，我们人手不够。不用说，这是一个疯狂的夜晚，我不断奔波着为客户提供腌牛肉和卷心菜，以及吉尼斯黑啤酒，并确保没有人要斗殴。”

"For some reason, the bar supervisor⁶ always liked to have food specials on display for people to see. While I get the concept, it generally just caused us to get mean looks when we told people they probably shouldn't eat it, as it wasn't a sample and had been sitting out for hours. Since it was St. Patrick's Day, we had a giant display of the corned beef and cabbage dinner special, complete with gravy⁷, potatoes, and Irish beer bread.

“由于某些原因，酒吧主管总是喜欢把特荐美食陈列出来给人看。虽然我懂这是为什么，但这对于我们（服务人员）来说真的很麻烦，总是让我们糟人冷眼，因为我们必须告诉顾客这些不是试吃品，而且它们已经被放在这里几小时了。由于当时是圣帕特里克节，我们摆出了大量的腌牛肉配卷心菜特餐，并且还配有肉汁、土豆和爱尔兰啤酒面包。

"As the night was beginning to slow down, I had an older couple sit at the only open seats -- adjacent to our food displays. I was clearing tables and leaned over to let them know I'd be right with them, and a plate slid off the mountain of dishes I was carrying, plopping right into the food display. The 12-hour-old gravy and potatoes somehow still had some fluidity to them, and flew up, then dropped… right into the man's lap.

“随着当晚的高峰期开始结束，我让一对老夫妇坐在仅剩的空位上----与我们摆出的食物相邻。当时我正在清理桌子，但身体也向们倾斜好让他们知道我马上会去他们那里，就在这时，手里堆在最上面的一个盘子滑落了，正好砸向了陈列出的食物。那保存了十二小时的肉汁和马铃薯不知怎么居然还没凝固，溅了起来，而后又掉落，不偏不倚落到了男人的膝盖上。

"I was horrified⁸ and apologizing profusely⁹ while trying to set down the mountain of dishes. The man looked up and me and said, 'I just have one thing to tell you.' He slowly leaned in -- at which point I was thinking he was about to spit in my face -- and he said, 'I don't have to fart anymore, you scared it out of me.'

“我顿时感到了惊骇，一边放下手里堆积如山的盘子一边不停地道歉。那个男人抬头看了我说道，‘我只想告诉你一件事。’他慢慢将身体倾斜------当我以为他要向我脸上吐唾沫时------然后他说，‘我终于不用再放屁了，你已经把它吓出来了。”

"It was the laugh I needed that night, and he wouldn't even let me give him a free beer as an apology." -- Belinda Farragut

“于是我开怀大笑了起来，而这正是我当晚需要的，他甚至不要我给他免费的啤酒作为道歉。”------Belinda Farragut