1) Don’t accuse

1）不要指责

If you want your boyfriend to respond to you in a normal way (aka you don’t want him to get super mad and give you the silent treatment if that’s his usual deal), then you can’t ever accuse him of anything.

如果你想让你的男朋友以正常的方式回复你（也就是你不想让他非常愤怒，想让他给你一个沉默的回答，如果这是他的通常应对方法的话），那么你永远都不要指责他任何事情。

Explain what you’re concerned about and what the issue is. Use plain language and say things like “I feel” instead of “You did this” or “You’re being unfair.”

解释你关心的以及问题所在。用平淡的语言，比如“我感觉”而不是“你这样做”或者“你这样不公平”来描述事情。

After all, if the situation was reversed¹ and he talked to you about what you were doing wrong, you wouldn’t want to hear it, right? It’s all about the delivery².

毕竟，如果情况反过来发生在你身上，他对你说你做的不对，你也不会愿意听，对吧？这完全是陈述的方式问题。

2) Take responsibility

2)承担责任

The truth is that it takes two to tango, to make a relationship work or fall apart, and to have a love story that lasts beyond your wildest dreams.

事实上，成就一段感情或者分手，拥有一段超出你的狂热梦想之外的爱情故事，是一件巴掌拍不响的事情。

It’s best to take responsibility for your own failings in the relationship. Since literally³, no one is perfect, that means you’re not either, so you definitely⁴ have at least one thing to own up to.

最好的方法就是承担你自己失败的感情经历中的责任。因为从字面上来说，人无完人，这意味着你也不例外，所以你肯定至少有一件需要承认错误的事情。

Talk to your boyfriend and say that you know you’re too quick to get mad at him, whether it’s about dividing up the chores and who’s going to cook dinner if you two live together.

跟你的男友谈一谈，告诉他你知道你太急于对他发火了，如果你们住在一起的话，无论是分配杂务，还是谁去做饭，都不应该对他生气。

Or maybe it’s about spending more time together if you’re not at the cohabitation stage yet. Own your mistakes and say that you get that you didn’t respond in the best way and you understand that he gets frustrated⁵ with you sometimes.

或者如果你们还没有到同居的阶段，或许只是花时间在一起的问题。承认自己的错误，告诉他你知道你没有用最好的方式回应他，告诉他你知道他有时候会感到灰心。

3) Make change happen

3)做出改变

On that note, make sure that you’re not just talking to your boyfriend about any relationship problems so you can kiss and make up and sweep everything back under the rug⁶.

关于这一点，要确保你并不是遇到任何感情问题都会和你的男友交谈，你可以亲吻他，弥补清除所有相处中的小问题。