1. You always make the first move

你总是主动

You've gone to the movies, grabbed¹ coffee, and even hit up an amusement park together. You had a fantastic time together and you can't wait to do it again. That's when you realize, though, that he's never the one extending² an invite.

你们已经看过电影、喝过咖啡，甚至去过游乐场。你们一起度过了美好的时光，而你对下次约会迫不及待。然而，此时你却发现，他从没有主动邀请你过。

If he's never initiating³ contact with you, he might be trying to send a message that he's not looking for a romantic relationship. He might be more than willing to tag along as a buddy⁴, though!

如果他从不主动地联系你，那么他可能在向你释放信号：他并不想和你谈恋爱。他可能更想做你的好朋友。

Pro⁵ tip: Take a break from reaching out if you're always the one making the first move. Either he will miss you and hit you up or your adventures will come to an end. It's better to know, right?

小贴士：如果你总是那个主动的人，那就暂停联系吧。他要么会想你，约你见面，要么你们的关系可能到此结束。好歹也要有个结果，对吧？

2. He talks up his friends

他谈论他的朋友

When it's time to meet up, you make a real effort to put your best foot forward. You've showered and feel confident, you've got great things to talk about, and you easily establish that you're a pretty great catch.

当你们要见面时，你煞费苦心以最佳状态出现。你洗了澡，信心满满，你准备了很多谈资，你轻松建立了一个魅力十足的形象。

Why, then, is he talking about his friends? If it feels like he's playing matchmaker and suggests that you meet some of his boys, that's really not a good sign.

然而，他怎么谈论起他的好朋友了？如果他好像开始扮演起媒人的角色，并且建议你认识一些他的好哥们儿。这并不是什么好迹象。

Pro tip: Ask him to describe the kind of guy that he thinks is perfect for you. If it's the opposite of who he is, you've got your answer.

小贴士：问他认为什么样的男生最适合你。如果回答和他本人相反，你就清楚答案了。

3. You hang out in groups

你们和一群人一起出去

You've been dreaming of a little one-on-one time with your crush⁶. You can't wait to have him alone so that you can build up the courage to tell him how you feel and see if there's any hope for a future together.

你已经在幻想和喜欢的他独处的时光。你迫不及待地想要和他单独待在一起，这样你就能鼓起勇气告诉他你的感受，并确认你们未来是否有可能在一起。

The problem is, though, that every time you make plans, he brings an entourage! If he's surrounded by a group of friends whenever you're together, he might be putting you in the friend zone.

然而，问题是每当你有所计划时，他总会带上他的“跟班”！如果每次你们在一起，他都会带上一群朋友，那么他可能是把你放在朋友的位置。

Pro tip: Invite him to do something that is clearly meant for two people and see what he says. If he balks⁷ or mentions how much better it would be if you went as a group, he probably doesn't want to be alone with you.

小贴士：邀请他做一些明显只能两个人做的事，看看他的反应。如果他推三阻四，并表示一群人一起出去玩比较好时，他可能不想和你单独出去。

4. Your relationship is text-based

你们的关系仅限于“文字”

Maybe you're in a position where you wish you could actually see your crush under any circumstances — even if it's with a group of 50 of your closest friends for breakfast. You just want to see him!

你可能每时每刻都想见到喜欢的人——即使是和50个密友一起吃早餐的时候。你就是想要见到他。

When the guy you're interested in is happy to communicate by text but always finds a way to get out of meeting in person, he might not want to take the relationship to the next level.

当那个人只喜欢和你短信交流，却总找借口拒绝单独见面时，他可能并不想要和你进一步发展。

Pro tip: If he doesn't have much of a social life at all, it could just be that this is a really busy time in his life. Let him know you'd love to hang out when he has the time. If he never makes time for you, move on.

小贴士：如果他根本没有什么社交生活，那么也许他真的是太忙了。让他知道当他有空时，你想和他出去。如果他从来不曾为你腾出时间，那么就放弃吧。

5. He talks about other girls

他谈论其他女孩

It's one thing if you talk about a variety of other people — including exes — during your conversation, but it's another if the guy you like is constantly talking about women he finds attractive or interesting.

如果你们聊天时谈到其他各种人，比如各种前任，这是一回事儿，但是如果你喜欢的对象不停谈论他感兴趣的女生，这又是另一回事儿。

Pay attention to the tone⁸ of these interactions⁹ and take them at face value. If he is trying to build a relationship with you, he will focus on getting to know you better instead of wasting time talking about other women.

注意这些对话的语气，予以重视。如果他想要和你维持良好的关系，他会花更多的注意力在你身上，而不会浪费时间讨论其他女性。

Pro tip: If he's telling you about the dates he's going on, he clearly wants you to know that he's seeing other people.

小贴士：如果他告诉你他的约会计划，那么他就是在明确告诉你他有喜欢的人了。

6. He doesn't make an effort

他从不为你花心思

When we like someone, we tend to go that extra mile to impress them. We might brush up on the things that they like, surprise them with their favorite meal, or even just put a little more effort into feeling and looking our best.

当我们喜欢上一个人时，为了给对方留下深刻印象，我们往往会多付出一些。可能会牢记他们喜欢的东西，准备他们最爱的食物制造惊喜，或者多花点心思让自己处于最佳状态。

Does the guy you're into look like he just rolled out of bed every time you see him? Does he forget your interests and let you make all of the plans? Do you feel unimportant¹⁰? If so, you might want to find a new crush.

你每次看到喜欢的对象时，他是不是看起来像刚起床的样子？他会忘记你的兴趣，让你制定所有的计划吗？你有被轻视的感觉吗？如果是这样，你可能要换个人喜欢了。

Pro tip: If you feel like this is a one-sided relationship, even as a friendship, you need to decide whether it's truly worth your time.

小贴士：如果你觉得这是一段一头热的关系，即使是朋友关系，你也要决定是否有必要在上面浪费时间。

7. He refers to you as a friend

他把你称作朋友

One of the easiest ways to determine your status is to pay attention to how the guy you like introduces you to his friends. You should also take note of how they react to meeting you.

要想确定你在他心中的位置，最简单的方法之一就是看他如何向他的朋友们介绍你。你也应该注意他们见到你时的反应。

Consider it a positive sign if he uses your first name (bonus points if people seem to have heard of you!), but if he makes a point of referring to you as his "friend," there's a good chance that he doesn't want you to become more than that.

如果他介绍你时不带姓地称呼你，那这是个积极的信号（如果他的朋友中有人似乎听说过你，那么可以加分）。但是如果他称你为他的“朋友”，那很可能说明，他不想和你超越这层关系。

Pro tip: If he puts extra emphasis¹¹ on the fact that you are just friends in front of other women, take the hint¹².

小贴士：如果他在其他女人面前特别强调你和他仅仅是朋友……那就死心吧。

8. Be open to friendship

接受朋友关系

While it might be disappointing to learn that your crush doesn't share your romantic feelings, don't shut down the possibility of a friendship. If you have things in common and enjoy spending time together, try to see if you can manage your expectations.

虽然得知你喜欢的人并不喜欢你可能让人很失落，但也别把成为朋友的可能性扼杀掉。如果你们有共同的爱好并且享受在一起的时光，那就试着调整自己的期望。

Of course, if it's too difficult and you find yourself pining over him, you should probably keep your distance. Also, never enter a friendship with the goal of making someone fall for you.

当然，如果你发现这样太困难了，而且你每天都在为他难过，你可能就需要和他保持距离了。此外，永远不要以“让他人爱上你”为目标开始一段友谊。

Instead, be cool and let things unfold on their own. Besides, who knows who you might find in his circle of friends, right?

相反，要保持淡定，让一切顺其自然。而且，谁知道你会在他的朋友圈遇到谁呢，你说对不对？