Being sociable¹ can mean many things.

说话的技巧有很多。

But in some aspects, there is only one criteria² in judging whether one is sociable or not. And that is whether this person can understand how other people think or not.

但从某种意义上来讲，评判一个人会不会说话只有一个标准，那就是“能否懂得换位思考”。

When some people talk with others, they'll fall into silence after a few sentences.

有些人聊天的时候，还没说几句话，双方就陷入了沉默。

They want to find something to talk about but don't know what to say.

很想主动找点话题，但又不知道怎么开口。

And if this kind of things happen too often, some of them will start to avoid communicating with others. And some of them even start to doubt if they are incapable³ in communicating.

这种情况多了，有的人就会开始逃避与人交流，甚至怀疑自己是不是有社交障碍。

And there is another kind of people. When they talk with other people, after a while, the people who they talk to will become not so happy.

还有些人聊天的时候，聊着聊着，对方就不开心了。

This is not because they are too emotional.

这并不是因为对方太情绪化了。

This problem comes from us.

出问题的经常是我们自己。

It's because we cannot understand the change in their emotion. It's because we cannot understand the implication they give out.

是我们没有领会对方情绪中的变化，没有理解对方的各种暗示。

And thus we entered the dangerous zone in their hearts and created a barrier between us and them.

于是踏入了对方心灵的雷区，让双方产生了隔阂。

You should stand in other people's shoes.

你应该学会穿别人的鞋。

You should see from other people's point of view when you talk to them.

在谈话的时候，应该去从别人的视角看问题。

When you can understand what people want to say, you'll know what to say to them.

当你能明白对方想说什么的时候，你才能知道应该和对方说什么。

This is the true sociability⁴.

这，才是真真的“会讲话”。

This is the kind of communication that brings people closer.

这，才是真正让人与人更紧密的交流。