Let's face it, the majority of people who are single are not single because they honestly and truly choose to be that way. Yes, there are people out there who are single and love it and wouldn't change it for the world but these people are in the minority.

让我们面对现实吧：大部分单身的人之所以还单着，并不是因为他们发自内心地愿意选择这种生活方式。当然的确有些单身的人喜欢这样，而且不想做出改变。但这些人毕竟是少数。

So, if most people who are still single would rather be in a relationship (of some kind), why are there so many single people out there?

那么，如果大多数单身的人或多或少是想开始一段感情的，为什么还有那么多单身的人呢？

I happen to be single myself and believe that there are some pretty good reasons to explain why single people like myself seem to stay single.

我自己刚好也是单身，我相信有一些原因可以很好地解释为什么像我这样的单身人士依然孤家寡人。

If you're one of the single people, keep on reading to see if one of these "top 5 reasons why you're alone" can explain why you're still single.

如果你也是单身，接着往下读，看看“五大单身理由” 里有没有哪一条符合你的情况。

1. You were in a long-term relationship:

1、你曾经有一段长期的恋情

Being in a long-term relationship is much different than dating. If your long-term relationship ends, there is a lot more to deal with than if you'd only been dating for a few months. Take a 10-year relationship that's ended, for example: there's 10 years of good memories, bad memories, lost commitments², joy, hurt - you name it - to try to deal with.

长期的恋情和短暂的约会大不相同。如果你结束了一段长期的恋情，你需要解决的问题比约会了几个月的人多得多。比如说一段10年的恋情结束了，留下了10年的美好回忆、糟糕回忆、未兑现的承诺、各种喜悦和痛苦，凡是你能数出来的都需要去应对。

Assumedly³, if you were in a 10-year relationship, the person you were with knew you well - your likes, dislikes, your quirks⁴, your friends, family, hopes, dreams, etc. You probably knew each other so well that it was like you had your own secret language. Even if the relationship ended badly, that's a lot to try to replace!

通常情况下，如果你们曾经在一起10年，那个人会非常了解你：你的好恶、你的怪癖、你的朋友、你的家人、你的希望、你的梦想等等。你们大概非常了解对方，就好像他/她是你专属的秘密语言一样。即便这段恋情以糟糕的方式结束了，想要找人取代他/她的位置依然不容易。

It's no wonder that single people with long-term relationships in their past seem to stay single. Whether it makes sense to them or not, they just can't seem to find someone who can replace what they once had whether what they had was good or not. The key here is that they will never be able to find a direct replacement⁵ but they can find someone new who is equally if not more worthwhile and hopefully a better match. It takes time, openness and commitment¹ to build another long-term relationship from scratch and it can be scary and overwhelming⁶.

所以那些过去有过长期恋情的人保持单身就不足为奇了。不管有没有道理，他们似乎就是找不到人来替代曾经那个人的位置，不管那个人究竟是不是那么好。关键在 于他们永远不可能找到一个直接的替代者，但是他们可以找到一个新的人，即便不比原来那个人更值得，但至少也是个不错的另一半。结束一段伤痛、再次建立一段 长期的感情需要时间、坦然和承诺。最初可能会让人提心吊胆、喘不过气。