1. Separate emotionally from the family you grew up in; not to the point of estrangement¹, but enough so that your identity is separate from that of your parents and siblings²。

在感情上与你成长的家庭分开；不要到产生隔阂的地步，但要足以使你的身份独立于你的父母和兄弟姐妹。

2. Build togetherness based on a shared intimacy³ and identity, while at the same time set boundaries to protect each partner's autonomy。

在相互的亲昵和一致的基础上建立归属感，但同时也要设定一些界限来保障每一个成员的自主权。

3. Establish a rich and pleasurable sexual relationship and protect it from the intrusions of the workplace and family obligations。

建立一种丰富而又愉快的性关系，并保护其免受繁杂工作和家庭义务的干扰。

4. For couples with children, embrace the daunting⁴ roles of parenthood and absorb the impact of a baby's entrance into the marriage. Learn to continue the work of protecting the privacy of you and your spouse⁵ as a couple。

对于有孩子的夫妻，坦然地接受父母这样的严峻角色，消化掉因宝宝的出现而对婚姻生活造成的影响。夫妻双方还要学会继续保护自己和配偶的隐私。

5. Confront and master the inevitable⁶ crises of life。

共同面对和掌控生活中不可避免的危机。