1. YOU SHOW CONTEMPT FOR EACH OTHER.

1. 你们互相看不起。

According to the Gottman Institute, where pioneering psychologists Dr. John and Julie Gottman spent nearly 40 years studying marriage, showing contempt is by far the strongest predictor that a relationship is about to end. More than just your choice of insults, contempt can be conveyed by rolling your eyes at your partner, showing disdain¹ in the tone of your voice and mocking their concerns--any of which are enough to shake your partner's confidence and their very sense of self. Putting it simply, the loss of mutual² respect is a nearly insurmountable obstacle in any relationship.

据高特曼研究所表示，心理学家先驱约翰医生和朱莉·高特曼医生花了将近40年的时间研究婚姻，看不起对方是迄今为止恋情即将走到尽头的最准迹象。蔑视不仅仅是侮辱的选择，向另一半翻白眼、语气中带着不屑、嘲笑他们的担忧，这些都是蔑视--任何一种方式都足以动摇另一半的自信、撼动他们的自我意识。简言之，缺少相互尊重是任何一段恋情都无法逾越的障碍。

2. YOU CRITICIZE EACH OTHER INCESSANTLY³.

2. 你们总是批评对方。

When you use criticism as the primary tool to 'correct' your partner's behaviour--and ultimately their personality--it should serve as a warning bell that your relationship is on shaky ground. How can you tell you're being too critical? Watch for the use of generalizations⁴ in your statements, including, 'You always,' 'You never,' and 'This always happens...' These sweeping⁵ statements could lead your partner to feel that they're 'never' good enough for you--which could be the beginning of the end for your relationship. Is Facebook driving a wedge between you and your partner?

当你总是通过批评来'纠正'另一半的行为时--最终纠正他们的性格--这应该是你们关系不稳定的警钟了。怎样才能看出自己是否太过挑剔了呢？注意自己的概括性言辞，包括，'你总是，''你从来不，'和'总是这样……'这些一棍子打死的言辞会让你的另一半觉得，对你而言，他们'从来'都不够好--这可能是你们恋情终结的开始。脸书是否让你和你的另一半越来越远了呢？

3. YOU LACK SELF-AWARENESS.

3. 你缺乏自我意识。

If you just read through this list of signs your relationship is about to end and matched each of the faults to your lover's behaviour and not your own, it's highly likely you're lacking in self-awareness. If you're to be at all objective about the challenges you face as a couple, this is a good time to pause and take stock of your own emotional 'baggage' and the manner in which you respond to conflict with your significant other. Without self-awareness, you're ultimately leaving your partner responsible for your own actions (and reactions!), which is a significant roadblock to a happy, fulfilling relationship. Looking for more expert advice? Check out these 7 Secrets to a Long-Lasting Relationship! Toronto-based relationship and wellness expert Deepak Kashyap provides mindfulness-based counselling for individuals and groups through the Toronto Mindfulness Centre.

如果你刚刚读完这一列感情即将走到尽头的种种迹象，发现这些缺点另一半统统都中，但自己却一点儿缺点都找不到，那么你很有可能缺乏自我意识。如果你对你们之间面临的所有挑战都十分客观，那么是时候停下来、好好总结自己的情感'包袱'，以及和另一半发生冲突时你采取的方式。如果没有自我意识，那么最终对你的举止和反应负责的人将会是你的另一半，而这是一段快乐、充实的恋情的一大障碍。想要了解更多的专家建议？看看这7个恋情长久的秘诀吧！位于多伦多的情感和幸福专家Deepak Kashyap在多伦多意念中心（Toronto Mindfulness Centre）等着您，为个人和团体提供意念咨询。