Not everyone reciprocates¹ the gesture.

并不是每个人都会回应你的付出。

This is a hard truth but it’s true.

这是个残酷的事实，但现实的确如此。

If other people poured the same amount of effort into me as I pour into them, things would probably be different, but things aren’t always equal in friendships and relationships.

如果别人对我的付出，跟我对别人的付出一样多，现实可能会有所不同。然而，友情和爱情中的付出总是不对等。

I honestly think that we should help other people and take care of them because it’s a good thing to do, not because we want something back.

老实说，我觉得我们应该帮助和关心别人，仅仅因为这是一种善举，而不是想要有所回报。

But by the same token, if we’re not getting anything back to sustain us when we need it, we shouldn’t help people to the point where we drain our own resources.

可是，由此类推，当我们需要帮助，却什么都得不到的时候，我们就不应该耗尽所有精力去帮助别人了。

I’m not being selfish.

我并不是自私。

Putting yourself first feels so wrong when you first start doing it.

刚开始去把自己放在第一位的时候，你会觉得很不好意思。

If you’re used to erasing² your own needs to look after others, it seems too self-indulgent.

如果你习惯压抑自己的需求去帮助别人，以自己为优先的话，就会显得很任性。

But actually,the only way to consistently and effectively help other people in the long-termis to make sure you’re in a good place yourself.

但是实际上，持续且高效地帮助别人的唯一方法，就是先让自己保持良好的状态。

I’m important too.

我也很重要。

It actually took me a while to get to the point where I can say this, but there’s no reason why my own wants and needs shouldn’t matter as much as the other people in my life.

我也是在经历了很多之后，才意识到这一点。然而，日常生活中，我的需求并没有理由比别人的需求低一等。

I deserve to have the same level of support and I certainly deserve to get where I want in life.

我应该得到同样程度的支持，我应该得到我想要的、那种平等的地位。

I deserve to be happy.

我应该得到幸福。

Helping³ people has always made me happy and it still does, but I’ve come to understand I want another kind of happiness too – pride in my own achievements, emotional resilience, stuff that’s really to do with me and not anyone else.

帮助他人总是使我快乐，现在也是如此，可是我开始明白，我也需要其他种类的幸福——为自己的成就、情绪恢复能力、以及真正与自己有关的事情而感到自豪。

It’s time to make that happen.

是时候这样做了。