SOMEONE'S ALWAYS PICKING A FIGHT.

总有一方寻衅吵架。

We all have that one friend who insists on finding a love interest they can fight with, because according to them, a relationship without fighting just doesn't constitute "real love." Sure, it's ok for some of your love (or lust) to be boosted by some make-up sex, but hate-fueled conversations that end in separate sleeping situations are an entirely¹ different story.

我们身边总有这样的朋友，他/她一定要找到那个可以吵架的对象，因为据他们所述，没有争吵的恋情就不是"真爱。"当然，补偿性的性爱会激发你的爱或欲望，这是没有问题的，但充斥着恨意的谈话最终会导致你们分床睡，这可是个完全不同的故事了。

"When you don't know clearly who you are, you're going to pick at others," said Price. "It's [about] understanding how to fight, and what it is we're fighting over." If you find that you're resenting your partner in daily activity for no good reason, and you're quick to snap at them but you can't figure out why, there may be some underlying² relationship issues that need to be addressed before marriage will be a good idea.

"当你不完全清楚自己是谁的时候，你就会寻衅他人，"普锐斯（Price）说道。"也就是关于对如何争吵的理解，以及我们为什么而争吵。"如果你发现自己每天都会无缘无故的憎恨另一半、找他们的茬，但却不知何故时，那么在你们结婚前，可能还有一些潜在的恋爱问题急需解决。

YOU'RE KEEPING SECRETS.

你有秘密瞒着他/她。

"These can include the way and with whom you spend your time, information about your finances or your frequent use of a substance," Elisabeth LaMotte, a clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and founder³ of the DC Counseling and Psychotherapy Center told HuffPo.

"这可能包括你和别人共度时间的方式、你和谁在一起、自己的财务信息或者对某物的使用频率，"临床社会工作者、心理治疗师、DC咨询与心理治疗中心的创始人伊丽莎白·拉莫特对HuffPo说道。

It all starts with sneaky text messages, a changed phone passcode, and suddenly, you're making up excuses to stay out late.

一切都始于鬼鬼祟祟的短信、改手机密码，以及突然间，你开始为在外面呆到很晚找借口。

When you make the decision to marry someone, you make the decision to share all aspects of your life. Or at least most people do. Sharing everything, from the silliest to the most intimate things about yourself with your spouse⁴ is one of the most special aspects of marriage, so if you're not prepared for that or you feel the need to hide things from your partner for whatever reason, you're missing out. If you know for sure you prefer your own space, it's worth having the conversation with your partner before making marriage official.

当你决定嫁/娶某人的时候，你就决定了分享自己的方方面面。或者至少分享大多数人分享的东西。与另一半分享自己一切，包括最愚蠢、最亲密的事情，是婚姻最为特殊的一个方面，所有如果你还没有准备好分享一切，或者不管出于什么原因你觉得有必要瞒着对方某一些事情，那你就可能错过了某些东西。如果你确定需要私人空间，那么在正式谈婚论嫁之前，和另一半聊一聊是很值得的。

YOU HAVE AN UN-CONFRONTED ADDICTION⁵.

你有一个无法直面的瘾。

Addiction is powerful, and although those who struggle with it deserve love just as much as everyone, it requires a lot of attention and work to reconcile, which sometimes makes it harder to be committed to developing a marriage.

上瘾的力量十分强大，尽管'瘾君子'和所有人一样都值得同样的爱，但却需要大量的心力和精力才能戒除，有时候会使承诺于一段婚姻更加困难。