1.Disarm¹ them with your vulnerability

1.示弱让他们放松警惕

Sometimes the quickest way to make another person comfortable is to be vulnerable yourself. On a flight? Tell your seatmate, “Flying makes me a little nervous.”

有时让别人舒服的最快方法就是示弱。坐飞机时可以告诉同座的乘客“坐飞机我有点紧张。”

2. Be brutally² honest

2.敢说真话

I find that being honest is best as it doesn’t waste anyone’s time.

我发现诚实最好，因为不浪费任何人的时间。

3. Tell them their celebrity³ doppelganger

3.说别人长得像名人

“Did anyone ever tell you that you look just like Sophia Vergara? ” This approach is always effective and the person on the receiving end will say thank you.

“有人跟你说过你长得像Sophia Vergara吗？”这个说法总是很有效，对方还会说谢谢。

4. ‘Cheers’ them

4.跟他们干杯

If you are in a bar and looking for an excuse to talk to someone, just go up and raise your glass and say “cheers!”This is effective because it’s non-threatening.

如果你在酒吧想找理由跟别人搭讪，就走过去举起杯说“干杯！”，这招很有效，因为没有威胁性。

5. Size them up

5.让他们帮你量尺寸

People love to be seen as useful. For instance, if you’re shopping ask them what they think of a fit because the person you’re buying for is about their size.

人们喜欢别人觉得自己有用，比如购物时问问他们觉得某个尺码合不合适，因为要穿这件衣服的人和对方身材差不多。

6. Ask about a mutual⁴ friend

6.谈论一下共同的朋友

Mutual friends are good conversation starters when you are invited by the same person. Asking “So how do you know Mike? ” allows the two of you to get to know each other.

你们被同一个人邀请时共同的朋友是很好的话题，询问“你怎么认识Mike的？”能让你们两个了解对方。

7. Plan a dream vacation

7.计划一次梦想之旅

Ask someone “If you got a free ticket to anywhere in the world tomorrow, where would it be?”It’s a great way to learn about them.

询问某个人“如果你明天有一张去世界任何地方的免费票，你会去哪儿？”这是一个了解对方的好方法。

8. Scare them (just a little)

8.吓到对方（轻微地）

One of my favorite conversation starters is asking “What was your high school mascot⁵?” It immediately takes the person back to their childhood. Then I follow up by joking, “You know that you just gave me the answer to one of your online security questions, right?” People usually laugh, often launching into a conversation about online identity theft.

我最喜欢的一个开场白就是问“你高中吉祥物是什么？”马上就能让对方回忆起童年。然后我再开玩笑说“你知道你刚告诉我你网上安全问题的答案了吗？”人们通常会笑，然后开始跟你聊网上身份盗窃。

9. Repeat what they said

9.重复对方的话

If you don’t know what to say, reflect back what you hear the other person saying and offer compassion⁶. This allows the other person to feel accepted.

如果你不知道说什么，就重复你听到的对方所说的话并且表达同情，这让对方感觉被你接受了。

10. Join the fun

10.凑热闹

Introduce yourself by going up and saying “You look like you’re having a lot of fun so I wanted to come and say Hi!”This is effective because it exudes⁷ confidence and charisma⁸.

走上前介绍自己，说：“你们看起来很热闹，所以我想过来打个招呼！”这很有效，因为能展现你的自信和魅力。