1. Pay a compliment

1.称赞对方

When you meet someone for the first time, pay that person a compliment when repeating their name, thus helping¹ to anchor and embed² it even deeper into your memory.

你第一次见到某个人时，重复对方名字时称赞对方，这有助于你记住对方的名字并加深这个记忆。

2. Ask lots of questions—good questions

2.多问问题——问好问题

How do you give your conversation partner the pleasure of a good conversation? Ask them questions—a lot of questions, and ones that call for more than vague one-word answers. This may lay the groundwork for a true friendship.

你怎么能让聊天对象有好的聊天体验？问他们问题，问很多不是含糊的一个词就能回答的问题，这会给你们真正的友谊打下基础。

3. Make a game out of small talk

3.利用闲聊做游戏

Say something like, ‘Tell me three things about your company, and I’ll guess what company it is.’ Or, ‘What’s that you’re drinking? Wait—let me guess.’.”

你可以这样说：“告诉我关于你们公司的三件事，我来猜猜这是什么公司，”或者“你在喝什么？等等，让我猜猜”。

4. Try to make their day better

4.尽量让他们高兴

You can ask these questions: “On a scale of one to ten, how was your day?” Anyone can think of a number between one and ten. After they respond, ask them this: “Is there anything I can do to move you from a six to a seven?” You’d be surprised how happy this little gesture will make someone.

你可以问这些问题：“1分到10分，你今天的心情打几分？”每个人都能想出1-10的一个数字，他们回答之后，再问：“我能做点什么让你从6分变成7分？”你会惊讶地发现这个小举动会让对方很开心。

5. Play the sympathy card

5.打同情牌

“I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities³ wear Harry⁴ Winston jewelry⁵. I could tell that she was disappointed, but when I told her that her job sounded difficult to me she brightened and spoke⁶ for 30 straight minutes about sapphires,” Paul Ford⁷ wrote in his essay.

Paul Ford在随笔中写道：“我曾去参加一个聚会，遇到一个非常漂亮的女士，她的工作是帮名人戴海瑞·温斯顿（珠宝品牌）的首饰，我能看出来她很失望，但当我告诉她她的工作对我来说很难时她就高兴了，跟我连续聊了30分钟蓝宝石的话题。”

6. Seek their opinion

6.征求对方意见

If you ask someone for advice or a favor and they oblige you, they will be psychologically primed to like you and help you again.

如果你征求某人的意见或求对方帮忙，他们会帮你的，他们会在心里开始喜欢你，还会再次帮你。

7. Pass the topic to someone else

7.把话题留给别人

Not everyone is going to be fascinated by that documentary you’re obsessed⁸ with. Let other people contribute to the conversation. If they change the topic when given the chance, let it go.

不是每个人都会被你喜欢的纪录片吸引，让别人也参与到对话中，如果给对方机会时对方转移话题了，那你就不要管了。

8. Repetition is key

8.关键是要重复

Start by repeating the last thing the person said to sum up their point. That’s very effective because you’re saying, ‘I’ve been listening to you.’

你可以开始重复对方说的最后一件事来总结对方的看法，这招很有效，因为你是在告诉对方：“我一直在听你说话。”

9. Exit gracefully⁹

9.优雅地结束对话

If you’re at a party, excuse yourself to get a drink; if you’re at work, you can leave to get some coffee. You can also say, ‘It’s nice talking to you, but I have to talk to someone before they leave.”

如果你在参加聚会，可以找借口说去拿点喝的。如果是在工作，可以起身去喝点咖啡。你还可以说：“跟你聊天真开心，但我得赶在别人离开前跟他说几句话。”