I write to you as the evening shadows draw close, with the 1）tang of fog upon my breath, the very first of this season. I feel your arms about me as you left this morning for the airport as I wrap my 2）shawl a little closer. Joey woke up and you patted him back to sleep, and left me warm and tangled¹ in the sheets, already waiting for you to be back.

夜幕降临之时，我正给你写信，呼吸着这个季节的第一场寒雾。我裹紧围巾，那感觉犹如你今天早上赶赴机场前搂着我一般。乔伊醒来，你轻拍着哄他再次入睡，把我留在温暖的被窝里蜷缩着，那一刻我就已开始等着你回来。

It has always been like this, though I never let you know of the waiting. The first time I talked to you, on those typed pages, 3）under the cloak² of names 4）artfully chosen, moments became minutes and minutes gathered to hours. When we could talk no more, I was yearning³, restless, and 5）loath to admit it. I gave you my number, gave it to a complete unknown, and was scared of my lack of 6）trepidation because, amazingly, no logic⁴ I could 7）muster would dismiss my 8）conviction that you were for real.

一直如此，虽然我从未让你知道我在等你。第一次与你交谈时，是通过网上传书，还用了一些精心挑选的网名做掩护，那时候的分分秒秒最终汇聚成漫长的数个小时。实在不能继续聊了，我会满怀思慕、焦躁不安，不愿承认想你的事实。我把自己的电话号码给了你——一个完完全全的陌生人。连我自己也吓了一跳，我居然没有一丝彷徨不安。奇怪的是，我找不到怀疑你的理由。

As I talked to you for days that 9）spilled into weeks, I was 10）tremulous, unsure, as a spider thread launched into the breeze, and it was as if in you my soul had found an anchor. You would talk to me of this and that, of a 11）pompous colleague or of a cab driver gone 12）amok, of the 13）impending marriage in your neighborhood, of an art exhibition where a watercolor made you think of me. I would laugh: a building, are you serious? I am really not that fat, you know! You would move on to explain, but my mind would wander, I would 14）stroll in front of the mirror and examine myself: have the years of marriage marked time on my face, am I as slim as before Joey came?

我们聊着聊着，日子便悄然地由一天天逐渐变成了一周周。我心生颤抖，将信将疑，仿佛一根蛛丝飘荡在微风中，我的灵魂奔向了你，找到了依靠。你会跟我聊这聊那，聊爱炫耀的同事，聊发疯的出租车司机，聊你家附近即将举行的婚礼，聊艺术展，你说在艺术展上看到一幅水彩画让你想起了我。我会笑着说，（我像水彩画中的）建筑，说真的吗？你知道我其实没有那么胖啦！你会接着解释，但我的思绪却到了别处，我会站到镜子前审视自己脸上是不是有了婚姻带来的岁月痕迹？我是否还像乔伊到来之前那样苗条呢？

1In those months of waiting, whether for the axe⁵ to fall or for happiness to strike I do not know, it was your voice and the 15）tug of Joey's fingers that pulled me through. When I see the two of you together, him on your shoulders with a 16）fistful of your hair, your 17）impish grins⁶ mirroring each other, I am happy I made the decision to be part of your life and to make you a part of ours.

那些等待的日子是痛苦还是幸福，我无从得知，是你的声音和乔伊的陪伴使我最终度过了那段艰难的岁月。当我看到你们在一起，他坐在你的肩膀上，撩起你的一撮头发，你们顽皮的笑容交相辉映，我很高兴自己做出了这样的决定：让自己成为你生活中的一部分并让你成为我和乔伊的一部分。

You have become my spirit and my essence⁷, my joy and temptation, the answer to 18）fervent prayers whispered with only half a hope of their fulfillment. I 19）revel in the freedom of the 20）enclosure of your arms, the way I am beautiful to you in the mornings without even running a comb through my hair. And through the times before I married you, what won me over was the way you somehow knew when to hold me close and when to let me be.

你已成为我的精神支柱和生命中必不可少的元素，成了我的喜悦、欢乐和动力源泉，你是我热切呢喃的那些祈祷的回应，尽管当初祈祷时并未抱太大希望。我陶醉在你双臂绕缠的自由中，陶醉在早晨醒来，即使我乱发蓬松，在你眼中我依然美丽可人。在嫁给你之前，不知何故，你总知道何时该紧紧地抱着我，何时应该让我一人独处，这就是你最终赢得我芳心的原因。

People wiser than I would care to argue with often say that extreme emotions cannot be sustained⁸ for long. They use the body as the flame does a candle, and the flame is never stronger than when the candle is at its shortest. So for a love of two people to survive, it must be 21）immortalized by the death of one or both, or simply get 22）lulled to companionship, or worse still, slowly 23）wilt under the weight of life's 24）mundane tomorrows.

比我聪明的人也许会争辩说，浓情并不能持久。感情与身体就像火焰与蜡烛，火焰最热烈时，也是蜡烛即将燃尽的时候。所以，要让两个人的爱长存，就必须牺牲其一或两人来使爱永生，或者干脆让爱静变为友伴之情， 或更糟的是，让爱在世俗生活的重压下慢慢枯萎。

But you were first a stranger, then a friend, afterwards a lover and now my husband. You are the man who left spaces in our togetherness as pauses in the 25）cadence of a song. I trust as well that each day I pass with you now, one of your arms about my shoulder and the other around Joey as you introduce me to your friends, will remain with me as I grow older.

但是，你起初是一个陌生人，然 后是一个朋友，后来成了我的恋人，而现在，你是我的丈夫。你是那个在我们团聚的时光之间留下空隙的男人，这种空隙就像一首抑扬顿挫的歌中的停顿。我也相信，即便岁月流逝，我现在与你度过的每一天，连同你一只手搭着我的肩膀，另一只搭着乔伊，把我介绍给你朋友的每一个时刻，都会与我同在。

As I write to you now, I know that when you are back next week I'll probably tell you how much I love you and this letter may just seem 26）superfluous. Please know that when you read it in the fifth, tenth or thirtieth year of our marriage, I love you then as I love you today when our marriage is a full year old, and we are miles apart on our first wedding anniversary.

此刻，我正在给你写信，我知道，当你下周回来时，我很可能会亲口告诉你我是多么爱你，这封信也许稍显多余。今天，我们的婚姻满一周年，相隔千里的我们过着人生中的第一个结婚纪念日。请记得，当你在我们第五个、第十个、或第三十个结婚纪念日读这封信时，那时，我依然像今天这样爱你。