We spend so much of our lives with our parents and yet most of it is devoted¹ to routine and commonplace things.

我们大多数时间都与父母生活在一起，但是这些时间常被琐事虚度掉了。

Time is short and unfortunately we are all getting older. There may never be a better time than now to have a meaningful conversation with your parent or parents.

生命苦短，我们都在不断老去。现在正是时候与父母敞开心扉，来一场意味深长的谈话。

You sometimes hear people say that they regret missed opportunities while their parents were alive and that there were things they wish they had spoken about. Make sure that you seize the chance while you can.

你不时听到别人说，自己有多么后悔没有在父母在世的时候与他们多说说话。现在你有这个机会，一定不能留下遗憾。

1. Can you tell me a story about your parents or grandparents?

跟我说说你们的父母或者祖父母的故事吧？

Family history is much more than a family tree and a photo album. It is also a collection of stories which become your family folklore². Be sure to have some stories about your ancestors that you can pass on to your descendants.

家族史不仅仅是一张族谱和一本家庭相册那么简单。它还包括家族中发生的各种奇闻异事。知道一点关于你家祖先的故事，以后也可以讲给你的后人听。

2. Can you tell me a story about when you were a child?

说说你们小时候的故事吧？

Stories about their adventures, hopes, fears and relationships with friends and parents can be fascinating and revealing. Why not record them on video?

父母们的那些冒险、希望、害怕，还有和朋友们在一起的小故事往往都很有趣，而且发人深省。为什么不把这些小故事用摄像机录下来呢？

3. Can you tell me a story about me as a child?

说一个关于我小时候的故事吧？

Your parents will remember funny or embarrassing things about you as a little child. These will be handy when one day your child asks you question 2 above.

父母们对于你小时候的那些淘气事、丢人的事都会记得很牢。问问父母这些故事，当你老的时候，你的孩子问你小时候的故事时，你就知道怎么回答了。

4. What is the one piece of advice you would like to share with me?

你们有什么人生道理要与我分享的吗？

Your parents have a lifetime of experience and there are still things that you can learn from them. They may share something philosophical³, funny or silly. Whatever it is it can pass into the family sayings and mythology⁴.

父母们人生经验丰富，你可以从他们身上学到很多东西。他们会跟你说一些充满哲理的话，也会告诉你那些逗趣的事或者傻事，不管是什么，这些人生道理都将成为家训和家庭传奇。

5. What thing in your life made you the happiest or the proudest?

你一生中感到最高兴或者最骄傲的事情是什么？

Let’s talk about the good things in their lives; their achievements, joys and moments of pride. You may yourself feature there.

让父母们回想当年的峥嵘岁月，他们取得的成就，获得的快乐，他们最自豪的时刻。说不定，你就在这些高兴事和骄傲事之中。

6. What is your biggest regret? What would you have done differently?

你最大的遗憾是什么？如果可以重来，你会怎么做？

Perhaps this is a sad area that you would rather not explore but sometimes the answer can be revealing and explain things about your parents that you did not realise or understand.

也许这是你最不愿意去探究的父母的伤心事，不过答案有时却可以启发人心，而且会让你认识到父母另外一面，你从未意识到或者不理解的一面。

7. What event had the biggest impact on you?

什么事情对你的影响最大？

Perhaps it was something to do with a war or a disaster. What was it that made a big impression? See if you can learn exactly how they felt and reacted at the time. It might put something you had only ever read about into the personal context of your parent。

或许，这些对父母影响深远的事情与战争、灾难有关。到底是什么事情产生了这么大的影响？看看你是否真的能体会到父母当时的感受，明白他们当时的所作所为。这些事可能你平常只在书上才会读到。

8. What plans should we make for the future?

你们去世后，我该做些什么？

Many people feel uncomfortable talking about future plans that include what happens after their parents pass. But these are important issues and it is better to broach⁵ them. Where will they live if they can no longer manage where they are? Is there a will? What do they want to do with the heirlooms? What sort of funeral would they want?

很多人谈到父母去世后的打算都讳莫如深。但这些事情都是大事，最好跟父母先沟通一下。去世后，想安葬在哪里？有没有立下遗嘱？家里的传家宝要怎么处理？要举办什么样的葬礼？

The next time your see your aging parents don’t just talk about minor⁶ domestic matters. Try raising some of the big questions above and then listen carefully to their answers. You may be surprised at what you learn.

下次再和年迈的父母聊天时，别尽说些鸡毛蒜皮的琐事，跟他们聊聊上面提到的这些话题，洗耳恭听父母的回答，没准，你还会吃惊不已呢！