My Painful Divorce Only Made Me Want to Get Remarried Even More痛苦的离婚过程让我更想再婚

My first marriage was falling apart, imploding¹ at every turn. The love, or whatever was left of it, was going to end whether I liked it or not. It was a bitter pill I spent the months leading up to our split trying to swallow.

我的第一段婚姻失败地很彻底。爱情，或者剩下的一切，不管我愿不愿意，都即将结束了。我花了好几个月的时间才从‘悲伤’中逐渐恢复。

But regardless of how painful the ending of a marriage can be, a sentiment echoed in my heart and mind every day and it was too loud to be ignored as my first marriage inched closer to its impending² fate. I wasn't done with love yet and wanted to be remarried after divorce.

但不管这段婚姻的结束有多么痛苦，我的脑海中每天都还是回荡着一种情绪，而随着第一段婚姻即将告一段落，这种情绪越发明显——我还没有失去爱的能力，离婚后我还想结婚。

My heart was split in two. Half of it was in a constant ache from the reality of what was to come of my marriage. But the other half was hopeful and almost all-knowing that a greater love was out there waiting for me. In good time, my heart would feel whole again.

我的心被分成了两半。一半因为婚姻破裂的现实而不停地疼痛，而另一半却又充满希望，认为会有那么一个人在等着爱我。慢慢地，我的心将再次完整。

On a cool-for-Miami March morning, the day I dreaded³ for so long had come: My marriage was over. As my ex-husband left the home for good, I prepared for life as a single mother. My then 2-year-old and I quickly made a warm, loving home out of our brand-new townhouse for two, and without skipping a beat—aside from a bout⁴ of flu that hit us both almost instantly—life went on.

在三月份一个萧瑟的早晨（迈阿密），我害怕已久的那一天到来了：我的婚姻结束了。前夫永远地离开了我们的家，我也开始准备做一位单身妈妈。那时，我和我2岁的孩子很快就从新买的别墅中收拾了两间房，开始了充满温馨和爱的生活——除了一场流感几乎将我俩都打倒外，我们生活得很好——生活也还在继续。

That constant ache now replaced by adrenaline, forced me to keep moving forward in whatever way I felt was best for my daughter and me. But I still clung on to the belief that something was coming, something greater than I had ever known, and it was this sense of knowing that brought me peace every night when I lay my head down at night.

那种持续的痛苦现在已被肾上腺素所取代，迫使我为了女儿和自己以最好的姿态继续生活。但我仍旧坚信，爱会来临的，这种爱比以往遇到的更为热烈，而每晚抚我安睡、伴我入眠的正是这一信念。

That's not to say this time in my life wasn't difficult. It was—single motherhood is not for the faint of heart. "All I know, is that I'm not done with love yet," I'd tell anyone who inquired about my next steps.

但这并不表示离婚后的那段日子并不辛苦。事实上，日子真的很难——但女子本弱，为母则刚。“我只知道，我还没有失去爱的能力，”我会对每一位关心我日后生活的人如是说。