Understand that life is not a straight line. Life is not a set timeline of milestones¹. You are allowed to backtrack. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, and I think we often forget that.

你应该明白，生活不是一条直线，也不是一个时间轴，上面标记了重大事件。你可以选择倒带。你可以停下来想想是什么东西启发着你。你还有很多时间，我想常常我们忘记了这一点。

You ruin your life by choosing the wrong person.

自毁人生之一：选错了终身伴侣

What is it with our need to fast-track relationships? Be alone. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning² clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.

为什么我们觉得自己需要狂飙突进似的恋爱关系？学着独处。独自进餐，和自己约会，独自入眠。在这个过程中，你会明白自己是什么样的人。你会有所成长，了解到在人生道路上启发着你的究竟是什么。你将掌控自己的梦想，坚定自己的信仰，理清自己的思路。如此一来，当你遇到那个让你坠入爱河的人的时候，你能够确信他（她）就是那个人，因为你确知你是什么人。

You ruin your life by letting your past govern it.

自毁人生之二：纵容你的过去操控自己

It is common for certain things in life to happen to you. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or purposeful. You cannot let these define you. If you don’t allow yourself to move past what happened, what was felt, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach³ that judgment⁴.

人生不如意十九，这是很自然的事情。你可能会心碎，会迷茫，会觉得自己毫无过人之处，觉得自己活得毫无目的。别让这些不如意的过往限定自己。如果你不能从过去里走出来，从过去的感受里超脱，你就会带着过去的眼光看待自己的未来，那么所有事情无一例外都会受这种偏见的影响。

You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others.

自毁人生之三：比附他人

We get caught up in what our friends are liking⁵, who our significant others are following, and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives, but it also ruins us.

我们常常为了他人的偏好桎梏自己：我们的朋友们喜欢什么，我们的恋人在追求什么，如此一来，不仅会把我们的生活弄得一团糟，也把我们的关系弄得一团糟。

You ruin your life by tolerating it.

自毁人生之四：一味忍耐

At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you innately⁶ desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside of you. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily⁷ blissful life. 最重要的是，你应该为活着而感到欢欣。如果你不去追求内心渴望的东西，而是得过且过，你就丧失了让自己内心的想法实现的机会。生活与工作，生活与爱情，它们并不是不相干的。它们之间都有着内在的联系。我们必须努力把工作干得棒棒的，努力把情感经营得棒棒的。只有这样，我们才能获得美好的，幸福的生活。