We’ve all gone through hard times. And we all get through them. However, some get through them better than others. So what is their secret? Most of it has to do with attitude. Here are 13 things to remember when life gets rough:

我们都有过灰暗的日子，最后也都熬过来了。然而有些的人心态会比其他人要好，他们的秘诀是什么？其实主要就是取决于你的态度罢了。看看生活艰难时可以做的13件事吧。

1. What is, is

坦然接受现实

Buddha’s famous saying tells us: “It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering.” Think about that for a minute. It means that our suffering only occurs when we resist how things are. If you can change something, then take action! Change it! But if you can’t change it, then you have two choices: (1) either accept it and let go of the negativity, or (2) make yourself miserable¹ by obsessing² over it.

佛教有句经典的话：“你的痛苦都源于对现实的抗拒。”好好想想这句话。这意味着只有当你不接受现实时才会产生痛苦。如果你能改变什么，那就开始行动吧，改变它！但如果无法改变，你就有两个选择，（1）要不去接受要不就忽视消极的部分，或者（2）不断的折磨自己让自己更加痛苦

2. It’s only a problem if you think it’s a problem

只有你觉得这是个问题的时候才会是个问题

Many times, we are our own worst enemy. Happiness is really dependent on perspective. If you think something is a problem, then your thoughts and emotions will be negative. But if you think it’s something you can learn from, then suddenly, it’s not a problem anymore.

很多时候，我们是自己最大的敌人。幸福取决于你的观察角度。如果你觉得一件事是个问题，那么你的想法和情绪都会变得消极。但如果你觉得这是学习的好机会，看看，突然就不是啥问题了。

3. If you want things to change, you need to start with changing yourself

如果你想改变什么，那就从改变自己开始吧

Your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Don’t you know people whose lives are chaotic³ and stressful? And isn’t that largely because they feel chaotic inside? Yes, it is. We like to think that changing our circumstances will change us. But we have it backwards—we need to change ourselves first before our circumstances will change.

你的外在是内在的一个反应。你难道不觉得那些外表看起来乱糟糟亚历山大的人们其实内心也是一团乱麻么？的确是这样。我们总是觉得改变环境就能改变自己。其实我们弄反了-我们需要先改变自己才能随之改变环境。

4. There is no such thing as failure—only learning opportunities

没什么失败-这只是一个学习的机会而已

You should just wipe the word “failure” right out of your vocabulary. All great people who have ever achieved anything have “failed” over and over. In fact, I think it was Thomas Edison who said something like, “I did not fail at inventing the light bulb, I just first found 99 ways that it didn’t work.” Take your so-called “failures” and learn something from them. Learn how to do it better next time.

把“失败"这个词从你的字典里抹去吧。很多成就大事业的人都曾不止一次的失败过。实际上，我非常赞同爱迪生说的那句话”我从来没有在发明灯泡的过程中失败过，我只是找到了99种不可行的办法而已。“把你那些所谓的”失败“当成学习的机会吧。学着下次怎么做的更好。

5. If you don’t get something you want, it just means something better is coming

如果没有得到想要的，只说明你值得拥有更好的

That’s hard to believe sometimes, I know. But it’s true. Usually, when you look back at your life, you will be able to see why it was actually a good thing that something didn’t work out. Maybe the job you didn’t get would have made you spend more time away from your family, but the job you did get was more flexible. Just have faith that everything happens exactly the way it’s supposed to.

有时候的确很难去相信，但这绝对是真的。通常，当你回过头看一看，就会发现正是一些事没有成功才会有后面的好事发生。也许那个没有拿到手的工作会让你无比繁忙没法陪家人，而最后获得的职位上班时间更加自由。只要相信，每件事都会有暗藏的方向。

6. Appreciate the present moment

珍惜当下

This moment will never come again. And there is always something precious about every moment. So don’t let it pass you by! Soon it will just be a memory. Even moments that don’t seem happy can be looked upon as something that you might miss someday. As the country song by Trace Adkins says, “You’re gonna miss this…you’re gonna want this back. You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast….you may not know this now, but you’re gonna miss this…”

正当时一去不复返。每个时刻都有宝贵的东西。所以不要让时间匆匆溜走！很快现在也会成为你回忆的一部分。每个你不快乐的时光在日后都会成为你去想念回忆的部分。就想Trace Adkin在乡村歌曲里唱的那般：”你会去怀念，会想重头再来。你会希望这些日子没有飞速流逝，也许现在你不知道，但你真的会去想念“

7. Let go of desire

减少欲望

Most people live with “attached mind.” What this means is that they attach themselves to a desire, and when they don’t get it, their emotions plummet⁴ into negativity. Instead, try to practice “detached mind.” That means that when you want something, you will still be happy whether you get it or not. Your emotions remain happy or neutral.

很多人在”欲望中“生存。也就是他们会把自己和欲望紧紧联系在一起，当没有得到满足，他们的就会产生消极的情绪。与其这样，不如试着给自己的思想减负吧。意思就是你想要什么的时候，无论得到没得到都会一样的开心。你的情绪不会受到太大的干扰。

8. Understand and be grateful for your fears

理解感激你的恐惧

Fear can be a great teacher. And overcoming fears can also make you feel victorious⁵. For example, when I was in college, I feared public speaking (one of the top 3 fears of all humans). So I find it humorous now that not only do I speak in front of a group every day by being a college professor, I also teach public speaking! Overcoming fears just takes practice. Fear is really just an illusion. It’s optional.

恐惧可以是你的好老师。战胜恐惧也能让你更加强大。比如，我读大学的时候，我害怕公开演讲（这大概是排名前三会让人类恐惧的事情）。然而现在我不仅会作为一个大学教授每天在一群人面前说话，还会教公开演讲的课程，这真是非常有意思的事情。战胜恐惧需要练习。恐惧只是幻觉，就看你的选择了。

9. Allow yourself to experience joy

允许自己享乐

Believe it or not, I know way too many people who don’t allow themselves to have fun. And they don’t even know how to be happy. Some people are actually addicted⁶ to their problems and the chaos⁷ in them so much that they wouldn’t even know who they are without them. So try to allow yourself to be happy! Even if it’s just for a small moment, it’s important to focus on joy, not your hardships.

信不信，我知道很多人都不允许自己玩乐。他们甚至不知道如何开心。有些人深陷自身麻烦和烦扰无法自拔甚至不愿意试图去摆脱。所以要让自己开心起来！哪怕是很短的时间，好好的乐一乐非常重要，不要总是执迷于痛苦。

10. Don’t compare yourself to other people

不要跟别人比

But if you do compare yourself, compare yourself with people who have it worse than you. Unemployed⁸? Be grateful that you live in a country that gives unemployment compensation, because most people in the world live on less that $750 a year. So you don’t look like Angelina Jolie? Well, I bet there are more people who don’t than do. And you are probably way better looking than most people. Focus on that.

如果真的要去比，那就把自己和比你差的人拿来比较吧。失业？感激你的国家还有失业保障制度吧，世界上大部分人年薪不到750美金。自己没有安吉丽娜朱莉那么漂亮？好吧，我觉得基本上大家都满足不了这点。而且你绝对比大部分人好看。多想想这些吧。

11. You are not a victim

你不是受害者

You need to get out of your own way. You are only a “victim” of your own thoughts, words and actions. No one “does” something to you. You are the creator of your own experience. Take personal responsibility and realize that you can get out of your hard times. You just need to start with changing your thoughts and actions. Abandon your victim mentality⁹ and become victorious. From victim to VICTOR!

你需要从自己的框架中走出来。你只是自己想法、语言和行为的受害者。其他人不能对你做任何事。你是自己生活的导演。对自己负责，相信自己有能力走出困境。你只需要改变自己的想法和行动。把那种受害者心理赶走，积极点吧，从受害者转为成功者！

12. Things can—and do—change

事情可以——绝对可以——改变

“And this too shall pass” is one of my favorite sayings. When we are stuck in a bad situation, we think that there is no way out. We think nothing will ever change. But guess what? It will! Nothing is permanent except death. So get out of the habit of thinking that things will always be this way. They won’t. But you do need to take some sort of action for things to change. It won’t magically happen all on its own.

“一切都会过去的”是我最喜欢的一句话。当我们身处困境，感觉毫无出路。我们觉得一切不会好转了。但猜猜会怎样？会好起来的！除去死亡没有什么是永恒的。所以不要再去固执的认为事情会一成不变了。都会变的。你需要行动起来做出改变。事情不会自己神奇的去发生转变的。“

13. Anything is possible

一切皆有可能

Miracles happen every day. Really—they do. I wish I had enough space to write about all the miraculous¹⁰ things that have happened to people I know—from healing stage 4 cancer naturally to having their soul mate appear out of nowhere. Trust me: it happens all the time. You just need to believe it does. Once you do, you have won the battle.

每天都有奇迹。真的是这样。我真希望有足够的空间写下那些发生过的奇迹-从四期癌症中自然治愈到突然遇到另一半。相信我：奇迹一直都在发生。你只需要去相信。一旦你信了，就赢了。