Are you waiting for life events to turn out the way you want so that you can feel more positive about your life? Do you find yourself having pre-conditions to your sense of well-being¹, thinking that certain things must happen for you to be happier? Do you think there is no way that your life stresses can make you anything other than “stressed out” and that other people just don’t understand? If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions, you might find yourself lingering in the land of negativity for too long!

你是否在等待足以改变命运的大事件并以此过上自己想要的生活，这样你才可以更积极地对待生活？你是否发现自己的幸福感是有条件的，而且认为必须发生某些事才能让你更快乐？你是否认为自己的生活压力过大，而其他人都无法理解？如果以上任何一个问题你回答了“是”，你可能已经在消极情绪中沉溺很久了。

The following are some tips to keep positive no matter what comes your way. This post will help you stop looking for what psychologists call “positivity” in all the wrong places! Here are the ten essential habits of positive people.

下面是一些遇事保持乐观的小窍门。它们可以帮你避免不恰当地盲目寻找心理学家所说的“正能量”。我们来看看乐观人群的10个好习惯。

1. Positive people don’t confuse quitting with letting go.

乐观人群懂得放弃和顺其自然的区别

Instead of hanging on to ideas, beliefs, and even people that are no longer healthy for them, they trust their judgement to let go off negative forces in their lives. Especially in terms of relationships, they subscribe² to The Relationship Prayer which goes:

乐观人群不会纠结于理念、信仰和那些会给他们带来负面情绪的人。他们会相信自己的判断，让生活中的负面压力顺其自然。尤其在人际关系方面，他们信奉这样几句话：

I will grant myself the ability to trust the healthy people in my life …

对于给我的生活带来积极影响的人，我会尽我所能去信任他们，

To set limits with, or let go of, the negative ones …

对于给我带来消极影响的人，我会保持距离、或者由他们去，

And to have the wisdom to know the DIFFERENCE!

而且我有智慧分辨这两种人的不同！

2. Positive people don’t just have a good day – they make a good day.

乐观人群不仅会享受美好的一天，他们还会创造美好的一天

Waiting, hoping and wishing seldom have a place in the vocabulary of positive individuals. Rather, they use strong words that are pro-active and not reactive. Passivity leads to a lack of involvement, while positive people get very involved in constructing their lives. They work to make changes to feel better in tough times rather than wish their feelings away.

乐观人群的字典里从来没有“等待”“希望”“盼望”这些词。他们总是用那些强有力、而且积极主动的字眼，绝不会用那种被动的字眼。被动会让人缺乏参与精神，而乐观人群会积极参与到自己的人生规划中。在困境中他们会用行动来改善自己的感受，而不是指望坏情绪快消失。

3. For the positive person, the past stays in the past.

对于乐观人群来说，过去只停留在过去

Good and bad memories alike stay where they belong – in the past where they happened. They don’t spend much time pining for the good ol’ days because they are too busy making new memories now. The negative pulls from the past are used not for self-flagellation or unproductive regret, but rather productive regret where they use lessons learned as stepping stones towards a better future.

回忆，无论好坏，都应该留在原地 —— 也就是事情发生的过去。乐观人群不会过分怀念美好的旧时光，因为他们正忙着创造新的回忆。而过去那些负面回忆的作用不是让你自怨自艾，也不是让你毫无意义地后悔，而是让你在后悔过后从中吸取教训，然后让其成为通向更美好未来的垫脚石。

4. Show me a positive person and I can show you a grateful person.

乐观人群都懂得感恩

The most positive people are the most grateful people. They do not focus on the potholes³ of their lives. They focus on the pot of gold that awaits them every day, with new smells, sights, feelings and experiences. They see life as a treasure chest full of wonder.

最乐观的人往往也是最懂得感恩的人。他们不会纠结于生活中的坎坷，而会用全新的感官和体验，去关注生活中每一天等待着他们的宝藏。在他们眼中，生活就是一个充满了传奇的宝库。

5. Rather than being stuck in their limitations, positive people are energized⁴ by their possibilities.

乐观人群不会为自己的局限所困，而会被自己的潜能所激励

Optimistic people focus on what they can do, not what they can’t do. They are not fooled to think that there is a perfect solution to every problem, and are confident that there are many solutions and possibilities. They are not afraid to attempt new solutions to old problems, rather than spin their wheels expecting things to be different this time. They refuse to be like Charlie Brown expecting that this time Lucy will not pull the football from him!

乐观人群会关注自己能做什么，而不是不能做什么。他们不会天真地相信凡事都有完美的解决办法，他们认为每个问题都有许多解决办法和可能性。他们绝不会原地祈祷事情出现转机，而会无所畏惧地为老问题尝试新的解决办法。他们不会像查理布朗那样，每次只是期待露西不会把球从他手里抢走。

6. Positive people do not let their fears interfere⁵ with their lives!

乐观人群不会让恐惧打乱自己的生活

Positive people have observed that those who are defined and pulled back by their fears never really truly live a full life. While proceeding⁶ with appropriate caution, they do not let fear keep them from trying new things. They realize that even failures are necessary steps for a successful life. They have confidence that they can get back up when they are knocked down by life events or their own mistakes, due to a strong belief in their personal resilience.

乐观人群明白，那些被恐惧所左右和束缚的人永远无法真正活出自己。他们也会保持适度的谨慎，但绝不会因为恐惧而放弃对新事物的尝试。他们深知，失败也是通向成功的必经之路。他们坚信，哪怕被生活中的挫折或自己犯下的错误所打倒，他们也可以重新站起来，因为他们对于自己的抗击打能力有着强大的信念。

7. Positive people smile a lot!

乐观人群常常微笑

When you feel positive on the inside it is like you are smiling from within, and these smiles are contagious⁷. Furthermore, the more others are with positive people, the more they tend to smile too! They see the lightness in life, and have a sense of humor even when it is about themselves. Positive people have a high degree of self-respect, but refuse to take themselves too seriously!

如果你感到乐观向上，你也会发自内心地微笑，而且这种微笑是可以感染他人的。和乐观人群相处越久的人也越容易微笑！乐观人群善于发现生活的闪光点，而且富有幽默感，也不介意拿自己开玩笑。他们也有很强的自尊，但不会太把自己当回事儿！

8. People who are positive are great communicators.

乐观人群善于交流

They realize that assertive⁸, confident communication is the only way to connect with others in everyday life. They avoid judgmental, angry interchanges, and do not let someone else’s blow up give them a reason to react in kind. Rather, they express themselves with tact⁹ and finesse¹⁰. They also refuse to be non-assertive and let people push them around. They refuse to own problems that belong to someone else.

乐观人群明白，自信的交流是日常生活中和他人沟通的唯一途径。他们会避免批判性的、愤怒的交谈，也不会因为他人出言不逊就以牙还牙。相反地，他们在自我表达时善于运用机智和策略。他们还充满自信，绝不会人云亦云，也不会亦步亦趋跟着别人犯错误。

9. Positive people realize that if you live long enough, there are times for great pain and sadness.

乐观人群明白，你活得越长，痛苦和悲伤也越多。

One of the most common misperceptions about positive people is that to be positive, you must always be happy. This can not be further from the truth. Anyone who has any depth at all is certainly not happy all the time. Being sad, angry, disappointed are all essential emotions in life. How else would you ever develop empathy for others if you lived a life of denial and shallow emotions? Positive people do not run from the gamut¹¹ of emotions, and accept that part of the healing process is to allow themselves to experience all types of feelings, not only the happy ones. A positive person always holds the hope that there is light at the end of the darkness.

对乐观人群一个最普遍的误解就是，他们每时每刻都很快乐。这简直大错特错。任何一个头脑正常的人都不可能永远保持快乐。悲伤、愤怒和失望也是生命中不可缺少的情绪。如果你只拥有一些简单肤浅的情绪，如何能做到对他人感同身受呢？乐观人群在面对各种情绪时不会逃避，他们认为情绪上的治愈过程有助于他们体验多种情感，而不仅仅是“快乐”这一种。他们总是相信，黑暗的尽头必定有光明。

10. Positive person are empowered people – they refuse to blame others and are not victims in life.

乐观人群善于掌控自己的人生，他们不会责怪他人，也不会做生活的受害者。

Positive people seek the help and support of others who are supportive and safe. They have identified their own basic human rights, and they respect themselves too much to play the part of a victim. There is no place for holding grudges¹² with a positive mindset. Forgiveness helps positive people become better, not bitter.

乐观人群会向有能力而且可靠的人寻求帮助和支持。他们很明确自己的基本人权，而且非常维护自己的尊严，因此绝不会扮演受害者的角色。乐观人群有着积极的心态，绝不会心存怨恨。宽容有助于乐观人群抛弃愁苦，使他们的生活更美好。