The last few weeks of Marilyn’s life were not just a straight drug-induced run to the grave. Some days she was able to pick herself up, and Truman Capote, lunching with her early in June, was surprised to note, “There was a new maturity1 about her eyes. She wasn’t so giggly2 anymore and she had never looked better.” Marylin had two last public engagements, a photo session for Vogue3 and the interview with Life.
Nobody knows what it is like to have all that I have and yet not be loved or know happiness. All I ever wanted out of life is to be nice to people and have them be nice to me . It’s a fair exchange. And I’m a woman. I want to be loved by a man from his heart as I would love him from mine. I’ve tried but it simply hasn’t happened yet.
I really resent the way the press is now saying that I’m depressed4 and in a slump5, as if I’m finished. Nothing’s going to sink me although it might be kind of a relief to be finished with moviemaking. You think you’ve made it. But you never have. There’s always another scene, another film, and you always have to start all over again…. I want to be an artist and an actress with integrity; I really don’t care about the money, I
Just want to be wonderful.
She was dead less than a week later.
Of the 300 books that have been published about Marilyn since her death, fifty are full-length accounts of only the last week in her life and the multiple, conflicting, contradictory6 and often downright fantastical conspiracy7 theories that have grown up around her demise8.
One of these claims that she was killed by the Mafia because she knew too much about a possible relationship with Frank Sinatra; another that the Kennedys somehow had her killed before she could spill the beans on the brothers’ sexual antics, time and again the CIA has been cited as a possible murderer murderer because her loose-cannon sexuality meant that she was altogether too directly plugged into the innermost secrets of the United States; and there are many who believe that the shadowy cares of her last weeks killed her for the contents of her jewelbox and safe. The following facts, however, are indisputable.
At about midnight on 4 August 1962, Marilyn went to her room, taking her personal telephone with her. She bade Mrs Murray goodnight and shut her door. When Marylin’s lawyer called he was told that Marilyn was in her bedroom but the light was still on. Mrs Murray says At about 2 a. m., she noticed that the light was still on and she became concerned. She knocked but could get no response and finally called the ambulance service to effect a forced entry. At 3:30 in the morning of 5 August, Marilyn was found dead, nude9 on her bed, one arm stretched out towards the telephone. The first coroner’s report declared that her death was due to “presumed suicide caused by an overdose of barbiturates.”
Marilyn went down like a battleship. Firing on her rescuers; it must also be admitted, though, that among those rescuers were doctors and nurses anxious to deep her totally dependent upon them and therefore inclined to allow her to abuse herself with whatever substance was available on or off prescription10. The most likely cause of death, on balance and with the wisdom of almost forty years’ hindsight, seems to be that Marilyn did indeed swallow, quite possibly unintentionally in her already drugged state, the overdose of hoarded11 Nembutal barbiturates which rapidly killed her before she could once again rescue herself by calling either Mrs Murray or a friend by telephone.
However, this verdict does not rule out the fact that there were a large number of people who by now wanted her out of the way for one reason or another. In that sense, her suicide was one of the most welcome and well-timed acts that Marilyn ever succeeded in carrying through.
玛丽莲生命的最后几周不单单是由于毒品诱发走向死亡的。有些日子她还能振作一下,何况在六月初,当杜鲁门·卡波特与她共进午餐时,还惊讶地注意到,“她的眼神中有一种全新的成熟。她不再动辄傻笑而且看上去从没有这么完美。”玛丽莲有两次最后的公开约会,一次是参加《时尚》的拍照,一次是接受〈生活〉的采访:
没人知道我不愁吃穿但不为人爱、不知快乐是什么滋味。我只求在生活中能善待他人,他人也同样善待我。我是公平交换。我是个女人,我需要被一个男人真心地去爱,同时我也会真心地爱他。我做过尝试,但这种事压根儿就没有发生过。
我的确不满媒体现在的说三道四,说我情绪低落而且生活颓废,好像是我要完蛋了。尽管不拍电影了可能会是种解脱,但任何事情也不会使我消沉。你觉得可以不拍电影了。但你是拍不完的。总会有另一场,另一部电影,而你总是要从头开始····· 。我想当一名正直的艺术家和演员;我真的不在乎金钱,我只求美好。
不到一周后她离开了人世。
自从玛丽莲去世后,出版了300部有关她的书籍,其中五十部通篇讲述的仅仅是她生命最后一周的经历以及围绕她的死编造出的许许多多自相矛盾的、茺唐的、卑鄙的猜测。
其中一种说法宣称她被黑手党所杀,因为她对弗兰克·西奈特可能有的风流韵事知之太多;另一种说法是在她行将泄露肯尼迪弟兄们的性丑闻时,肯尼迪家族的人派人杀害了她,更有甚者有人说中央情报局可能是杀害她的凶手,因为她放荡的性生活意味着她曾直接触及到美国最深层的机密;还有许多人认为她在最后几周对珠宝盒及保险箱中的财宝忧心忡忡有关。然而,以下是不争的事实。
1962年8月4日午夜时分,玛丽莲拿着她的私人电话走进房间。她向默里夫人道了晚安便关紧房门。当玛丽莲的律师来电话时,他被告知玛丽莲呆在卧房,但灯却亮着。默里夫人说凌晨两点她发现灯还亮着随即就开始担心起来。她敲了敲门,但没有回音,最后打电话给医疗救护队才硬撞进去。8月5日凌晨3:30,人们发现玛丽莲已死,赤裸在床上,一只胳膊朝电话方向伸着。首次验尸报告称她的死是由于“过量服用镇静类药物引起的假定性自杀。”
玛丽莲像一艘向营救者开火的战舰慢慢下沉;但是,也必须承认,在这些救援者中,医生和护士们都希望使玛丽莲完全依赖他们,从而倾向于让她随意服用处方中或处方外的任何药物。最有可能的死因,总的说来并凭着近四十年的事后分析,玛丽莲似乎的确吞食了过量的家里储存的耐波他牌的镇静类药,这很有可能是在她已吸食毒品的情况下无意之中所为,但她没来得及打电话给默里夫人或朋友去求救,这药就很快使她送了命。
然而,这个判断并不能排除一个事实,即有许多人当时出于这样那样的理由希望她退出历史舞台。在这个意义上,玛丽莲的自杀是她所曾完成的一种最受欢迎和合时宜的举动。
1 maturity [məˈtʃʊərəti] 第7级 | |
n.成熟;完成;(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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2 giggly [ˈgɪgli] 第7级 | |
adj.傻笑的,吃吃笑的 | |
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3 Vogue [vəʊg] 第9级 | |
n.时髦,时尚;adj.流行的 | |
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4 depressed [dɪˈprest] 第8级 | |
adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的 | |
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5 slump [slʌmp] 第8级 | |
n.暴跌,意气消沉,(土地)下沉;vi.猛然掉落,坍塌,大幅度下跌 | |
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6 contradictory [ˌkɒntrəˈdɪktəri] 第8级 | |
adj.反驳的,反对的,抗辩的;n.正反对,矛盾对立 | |
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7 conspiracy [kənˈspɪrəsi] 第7级 | |
n.阴谋,密谋,共谋 | |
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8 demise [dɪˈmaɪz] 第10级 | |
n.死亡;v.让渡,遗赠,转让 | |
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9 nude [nju:d] 第10级 | |
adj.裸体的;n.裸体者,裸体艺术品 | |
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10 prescription [prɪˈskrɪpʃn] 第7级 | |
n.处方,开药;指示,规定 | |
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