Funny Health Quotes - Funny Quotes about Health

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Muscles come and go; flab lasts.

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

If I knew I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.

Turns out we've all been eating the wrong thing...since the dawn of civilization!

My father died of cancer when I was a teenager. He had it before it became popular.

How do I stay so healthy and boyishly handsome? It's simple. I drink the blood of young runaways¹.

According to a new study, women in satisfying marriages are less likely to develop cardiovascular diseases² than unmarried women. So don't worry lonely women, you'll be dead soon.

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long because I am too inhospitable a host.

I don't jog. If I die I want to be sick.

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin³.

健康趣话

----读有关健康的书籍要小心，你可能死于印刷错误。

----有一天健康狂热者会发现自己很愚蠢，当他们躺在医院里一无所获地死去。

----肌肉来了又走，肥肉却坚持到了最后。

----我的医生最近告诉我慢跑可以增加我的寿命，我想他是对的，因为我已经觉得自己得到了十年（老了十岁）。

----如果我知道我会活那么久，我应试好好照顾我的身体。

----好象我们一直在吃错误的东西----自从进入了文明社会。

----我父亲在我十几岁的时候死于癌症，那时候癌症还不那么流行。

----为什么我能保持健康和少年时的英俊，很简单，我喝年轻的逃亡者的血。

----新的研究结果表明，婚姻美满的女人得心血管疾病的可能性要小于未婚女人，所以，单身女人，不要再为自己操心了，你们不会活太久的。

----严重的疾病都不会打扰我太久，因为我是个很不好客的主人。

----我不慢跑，如果要死的话，我希望死于疾病。

----他们告诉你最健康的食物是哪两样？是鸡和鱼----那你应该怎样做？把两样合并起来----吃企鹅。