There’s nothing worse than a rich person who’s chronically¹ angry or unhappy. There’s really no excuse for it, yet I see this phenomenon every day. It results from an extremely unbalanced life, one with too much expectation and not enough appreciation² for what’s there.

本文为与《创业者》杂志的合作内容。原文发表于Entrepreneur.com网站。

Without gratitude³ and appreciation for what you already have, you’ll never know true fulfillment. But how do you cultivate balance in life? What’s the point of achievement if your life has no balance?

如果你有钱，但是内心充满愤怒和不快乐，这能叫过得好吗？这种情况每天我都能见到。它源自于一种极度失衡的人生：期望过高，不懂得珍惜当下。

For nearly four decades, I’ve had the privilege of coaching people from every walk of life, including some of the most powerful men and women on the planet. I’ve worked with presidents of the United States as well as owners of small businesses.

如果对现在所拥有的不懂得感激和珍惜，你就永远无法得到真正的满足感。那样你又怎么能取得人生的平衡？成功又有什么意义？

Across the board, I’ve found that virtually every moment people make three key decisions that dictate⁴ the quality of their lives.

近40年来，我有幸为各行各业的人提供激励指导，其中包括了一些世界上最具影响力的人物。我接待过的既有美国总统，也有小企业主。

If you make these decisions unconsciously, you’ll end up like majority of people who tend to be out of shape physically⁵, exhausted⁶ emotionally and often financially stressed. But if you make these decisions consciously, you can literally⁷ change the course of your life today.

然而无一例外的是，我发现几乎每时每刻人们都在做着三种关键的决定，而这些决定主宰着他们的人生质量。

Decision 1: Carefully choose what to focus on.

如果你作出以下决定时不假思索，你将落得和大多数人一样的下场：身材走样、情绪沮丧而且财政吃紧。相反，如果你是有意识地作出这些决定，你就能在当下改变自己的生活轨迹。

At every moment, millions of things compete for your attention. You can focus on things that are happening right here and now or on what you want to create in the future. Or you can focus on the past.

决定1：谨慎选择关注的焦点。

Where focus goes, energy flows. What you focus on and your pattern for doing so shapes your entire life.

生活中随时会有千百万个事物争夺你的注意力。你既可以着眼于当前发生的事情，又可以将焦点放在未来的计划上，还可以关注过去。

Which area do you tend to focus on more: what you have or what’s missing from your life?

随着焦点的变化，人的精力随之而动。你所关注的焦点和行为模式塑造了你的整个人生。

I’m sure you think about both sides of this coin. But if you examine your habitual⁸ thoughts, what do you tend to spend most of your time dwelling⁹ on?

对于生命中拥有的和失去的，你更关注于哪一个？

Rather than focusing on what you don’t have and begrudging¹⁰ those who are better off than you financially, perhaps you should acknowledge that you have much to be grateful for and some of it has nothing to do with money. You can be grateful for your health, family, friends, opportunities and mind.

你的答案肯定是两者皆有。但是，审视一下自己的惯性思维，你的时间主要花在了哪一方面？

Developing a habit of appreciating what you have can create a new level of emotional well-being¹¹ and wealth. But the real question is, do you take time to deeply feel grateful with your mind, body, heart and soul? That’s where the joy, happiness and fulfillment can be found.

或许，你不应该一门心思想着自己并未拥有的东西，嫉妒那些比自己富有的人。而是应该承认，自己拥有不少值得感激的事物，其中有些与金钱无关。你可以庆幸自己拥有健康、家庭、朋友、机遇和头脑。

Consider a second pattern of focus that affects the quality of your life: Do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can’t?

养成珍惜自己已经拥有的一切，这一习惯可以将幸福感和精神充实带到一个新的高度。但是真正的问题是：对于自己的头脑、身体、情感和心灵，你是否真的努力去感恩？这些才是快乐、幸福和成就感的源泉。

If you focus on what you can’t control, you’ll have more stress in life. You can influence many aspects of your life but you usually can’t control them.

还有第二种影响人生质量的关注模式：你更关注自己能够控制的东西，还是那些不能控制的方面？

When you adopt this pattern of focus, your brain has to make another decision:

如果你着重的是自己无法控制的事物，生活中就要承受更多的压力。你可以影响自己生活的诸多方面，但是通常无法控制它们。

Decision 2: Figure out, What does this all mean?

决定2：想清楚这一切的意义所在。

Ultimately, how you feel about your life has nothing to do with the events in it or with your financial condition or what has (or hasn’t) happened to you. The quality of your life is controlled by the meaning you give these things.

如何看待自己的人生，本质上与发生的事件、个人的财政状况或者人生际遇都没有关系。生活质量是由你所赋予事物的意义决定的。

Most of the time you may be unaware¹² of the effect of your unconscious mind in assigning meaning to life’s events.

你下意识地赋予各种事情以意义，但是大多数时间里却并不清楚这一行为有何影响。

When something happens that disrupts your life (a car accident, a health issue, a job loss), do you tend to think that this is the end or the beginning?

当某些事情打乱了你的生活（车祸、疾病、失业等），你会认为这是人生的终点，还是另一个起点？

If someone confronts you, is that person insulting you, coaching you or truly caring for you?

如果有人与你争吵，这个人是在羞辱你、教导你还是真正关心你？

Does a devastating¹³ problem mean that God is punishing you or challenging you? Or is it possible that this problem is a gift from God?

如果遭受严重的挫折，是上帝在惩罚你，还是在锻炼你？或者说，有没有可能这是上帝送给你的礼物？

Your life takes on whatever meaning you give it. With each meaning comes a unique feeling or emotion and the quality of your life involves where you live emotionally.

你的生活会接纳你所赋予的一切意义。每个意义带来一份独特的感受或情绪，而你的生活质量也和你的情绪息息相关。

I always ask during my seminars, “How many of you know someone who is on antidepressants and still depressed¹⁴?” Typically 85 percent to 90 percent of those assembled raise their hands.

在研讨会上，我总是喜欢问观众，“你们身边是否有熟识的人在服用抗抑郁药却依然郁郁寡欢？”一般来说，85%到90%的与会观众会举手。

How is this possible? The drugs should make people feel better. It’s true that antidepressants do come with labels warning that suicidal thoughts are a possible side effect.

这怎么可能？药物应当改善人们的情绪。事实是，抗抑郁药的标签上警告，副作用是可能有自杀念头。

But no matter how much a person drugs himself, if he constantly focuses on what he can’t control in life and what’s missing, he won’t find it hard to despair. If he adds to that a meaning like “life is not worth living,” that’s an emotional cocktail¹⁵ that no antidepressant can consistently overcome.

但是，无论一个人吃多少药，如果他总是沉迷于自己在生活中无法控制和缺失的那些部分，他很容易就会感到绝望。如果他滋生了“人生没有意义”的想法，那么无论什么抗抑郁药物，都很难帮他持续摆脱这种情绪。

Yet if that same person can arrive at a new meaning, a reason to live or a belief that all this was meant to be, then he will be stronger than anything that ever happened to him.

还是这个人，如果他能够找到一个新的意义、一个活下去的理由，或者接受一切是必然的观念，那么他将变得非常强大，无坚不摧。

When people shift their habitual focus and meanings, there’s no limit on what life can become. A change of focus and a shift in meaning can literally alter someone’s biochemistry in minutes.

当人们调整其惯性思维的焦点和赋予事物的意义时，生活将不再有桎梏。关注点的变化和意义的调整可以在短时间内改变一个人的生物化学。

So take control and always remember: Meaning equals emotion and emotion equals life. Choose consciously and wisely. Find an empowering meaning in any event, and wealth in its deepest sense will be yours today.

所以，控制自己，并始终牢记：意义等于情绪，情绪等于生活。有意识地作出明智的选择。无论任何事件，都从中找到的积极意义，那么，你马上就能拥有最宝贵的财富。

Once you create a meaning in your mind, it creates an emotion, and that emotion leads to a state for making your third decision:

一旦你在心里创建了一个意义，就相当于创建了一种情绪，而这个情绪可以将你引向第三个决定：

Decision 3: What will you do?

决定3：你要做什么？

The actions you take are powerfully shaped by the emotional state you’re in. If you’re angry, you’re going to behave quite differently than if you’re feeling playful or outrageous¹⁶.

你所处的情绪状态主宰着你的行动。当你愤怒的时候，你的行为会和你感到开心或震怒时大相径庭。

If you want to shape your actions, the fastest way is to change what you focus on and shift the meaning to be something more empowering.

如果你希望养成某些行为，最快的方法就是改变你的专注点，将找到更鼓舞人的意义。

Two people who are angry will behave differently. Some pull back. Others push through.

同样处于愤怒状态的两个人会有不同的行为。有些人会退缩，另外一些人会努力前进。

Some individuals express anger quietly. Others do so loudly or violently. Yet others suppress it only to look for a passive-aggressive opportunity to regain¹⁷ the upper hand or even exact revenge.

有些人以安静的方式表达愤怒，有些人则选择大声说出来，或者用暴力的方式来表达。还有一些人会压制愤怒，寻找以退为进的机会，从而重新占据上风，甚至进行报复。

Where do these patterns come from? People tend to model their behavior on those they respect, enjoy and love.

这些模式从何而来？人们通常按照自己尊敬、欣赏和喜爱的人塑造自己的行为模式。

The people who frustrated¹⁸ or angered you? You often reject their approaches.

那些让你沮丧或愤怒的人呢？你通常会排斥他们的方式。

Yet far too often you may find yourself falling back into patterns you witnessed over and over again in your youth and were displeased¹⁹ by.

然而很多时候，你可能发现自己陷入的模式是年轻时经常看到而且并不喜欢的。

It’s very useful for you to become aware of your patterns when you are frustrated, angry or sad or feel lonely. You can’t change your patterns if you’re not aware of them.

当你感到沮丧、愤怒、悲伤或孤单的时候，了解自己的模式是非常有用的。如果你不了解，就无法改变它。

Now that you’re aware of the power of these three decisions, start looking for role models who are experiencing what you want out of life. I promise you that those who have passionate²⁰ relationships have a totally different focus and arrive at totally different meanings for the challenges in relationships than people who are constantly bickering²¹ or fighting.

现在你已经认识到这三个决定的力量，开始寻找你生活中最欣赏的榜样吧。我保证，那些待人热情的人，和那些总是与人争吵或争斗的人相比，一定会有不同的关注点，并且给人际关系中的挑战赋予完全不同的意义。

It’s not rocket science. If you become aware of the differences in how people approach these three decisions, you’ll have a pathway to help you create a permanent positive change in any area of life.

这并非难事。如果你认识到人们在做出这三个决定时的区别，你就会知道如何帮助自己在生活的任何领域创造出长期的积极转变。（财富中文网）