The other present Baba gave me--and he didn’t wait around for me to open this one--was a wristwatch. It had a blue face with gold hands in the shape of lightning bolts. I didn’t even try it on. I tossed it on the pile of toys in the corner. The only gift I didn’t toss on that mound¹ was Rahim Khan’s leather-bound notebook. That was the only one that didn’t feel like blood money.

爸爸给我的另一件礼物——他甚至不愿意等我打开它——是手表。表面是蓝色的，金色的指针呈闪电状。我甚至都没试着戴一下，就将其扔到角落那堆玩具中去。惟一没有被扔到那堆东西里去的礼物是拉辛汗的皮面笔记本，只有它不像是血腥钱。

I sat on the edge of my bed, turned the notebook in my hands, thought about what Rahim Khan had said about Homaira, how his father’s dismissing her had been for the best in the end. She would have suffered. Like the times Kaka Homayoun’s projector² got stuck on the same slide, the same image kept flashing in my mind over and over: Hassan, his head downcast, serving drinks to Assef and Wali. Maybe it would be for the best. Lessen³ his suffering. And mine too. Either way, this much had become clear: One of us had to go.

我坐在自己的床沿，双手打开笔记本，想着拉辛汗提起荷麦拉的故事，被他父亲逐走是她最好的下场。她会受苦的。好比霍玛勇叔叔的投影机被同一面幻灯片卡住，总有个画面在我脑中挥之不去：哈桑，他低着头，端饮料服侍阿塞夫和瓦里。兴许那是最好的结局，既可减少他的伤痛，也可缓和我的苦楚。不管怎样，事情变得清楚起来：我们有一个必须离开。

Later that afternoon, I took the Schwinn for its first and last spin. I pedaled around the block a couple of times and came back. I rolled up the driveway to the backyard where Hassan and Ali were cleaning up the mess from last night’s party. Paper cups, crumpled⁴ napkins, and empty bottles of soda⁵ littered the yard. Ali was folding chairs, setting them along the wall. He saw me and waved.

那天午后，我第一次，也是最后一次骑上那辆施温自行车。我绕着那个街区骑了好几圈，然后回家。我骑上那条车道，通向后院，哈桑和阿里正在那儿打扫昨夜宴会留下的一片狼藉。院子里到处是纸杯、揉成一团的纸巾，还有空空如也的汽水瓶。阿里正把椅子折叠起来，放到墙边去。他看见我，招招手。

“Salaam⁶, All,” I said, waving back.

“你好，阿里。”我挥着手说。

He held up a finger, asking me to wait, and walked to his living quarters. A moment later, he emerged with something in his hands. “The opportunity never presented itself last night for Hassan and me to give you this,” he said, handing me a box. “It’s mod est and not worthy⁷ of you, Amir agha. But we hope you like it still. Happy birthday.”

他举起一只手指，让我稍等，接着走进他住那间屋子。片刻之后，他手里拿着某些东西走出来。“昨晚我和哈桑找不到机会把这份礼物给你，”他说着交给我一个盒子，“它太普通，配不上你，阿米尔少爷。不过我们还是希望你喜欢它。生日快乐。”

A lump was rising in my throat. “Thank you, Ali,” I said. I wished they hadn’t bought me anything. I opened the box and found a brand new _Shahnamah_, a hardback with glossy⁸ colored illustrations beneath the passages. Here was Ferangis gazing at her newborn son, Kai Khosrau. There was Afrasiyab riding his horse, sword drawn⁹, leading his army. And, of course, Rostam inflicting¹⁰ a mortal wound onto his son, the warrior¹¹ Sohrab. “It’s beautiful,” I said.

我喉咙一哽。“谢谢你，阿里。”我说。我宁愿他们什么也没给我买。我打开盒子，看到一本崭新的《沙纳玛》，硬皮的，每页的下方附有精美的彩色插图。这张是菲兰吉凝望她刚出世的儿子凯寇斯劳；那张是阿佛拉西雅手执利剑，胯骑骏马，领军前进。当然还有罗斯坦给他儿子，勇士索拉博以致命一击。“真漂亮。”我说。

“Hassan said your copy was old and ragged¹², and that some of the pages were missing,” Ali said. “All the pictures are hand-drawn in this one with pen and ink,” he added proudly, eyeing a book neither he nor his son could read.

“哈桑说你那本又旧又破，还掉了一些书页。”阿里说，“这本书里面全部图画都是用钢笔和墨水手绘的。”他骄傲地补充说，望着这本他和他的儿子都看不懂的书。

“It’s lovely,” I said. And it was. And, I suspected, not inexpensive either. I wanted to tell Ali it was not the book, but I who was unworthy. I hopped¹³ back on the bicycle. “Thank Hassan for me,” I said.

“它很可爱。”我说。确实很可爱。甚至也不便宜，我怀疑。我想告诉阿里，书没有配不上我，是我配不上他们的礼物。我重新跳上那辆自行车。“替我谢谢哈桑。”我说。

I ended up tossing the book on the heap of gifts in the corner of my room. But my eyes kept going back to it, so I buried it at the bottom. Before I went to bed that night, I asked Baba if he’d seen my new watch anywhere.

我终究将这本书扔在屋角那堆礼物上面。可是我的眼睛总是忍不住看向它，所以我将它埋在下面。那夜睡觉之前，我问爸爸有没有看到我的新手表。