“Baba, sit down please,” I said, tugging¹ at his sleeve. “I think he really means to shoot you.” “爸爸，坐下吧，求求你，”我说，拉着他的衣袖，“他真的会朝你开枪。”

Baba slapped my hand away. “Haven’t I taught you anything?” he snapped. He turned to the grinning soldier. “Tell him he’d better kill me good with that first shot. Because if I don’t go down, I’m tearing him to pieces, goddamn his father!” 爸爸将我的手打开。“我什么也没教过你吗?”他生气地说，转向那个一脸坏笑的士兵，“告诉他最好一枪就把我打死，因为如果我没有倒下，我会把他撕成碎片。操他妈的。”

The Russian soldier’s grin never faltered² when he heard the translation. He clicked the safety on the gun. Pointed³ the barrel to Baba’s chest. Heart pounding in my throat, I buried my face in my hands. 听完翻译，俄国兵狞笑依然。他打开保险栓，将枪口对准爸爸的胸膛。我的心快要跳出喉咙，用双手把脸掩住。

The gun roared. 枪声响起。

It’s done, then. I’m eighteen and alone. I have no one left in the world. Baba’s dead and now I have to bury him. Where do I bury him? Where do I go after that? 完了，完了。我十八岁，孤身一人，在这世上举目无亲。爸爸死了，我得埋葬他。把他埋在哪里呢?埋完之后我该去哪里呢?

But the whirlwind of half thoughts spinning in my head came to a halt when I cracked my eyelids⁴, found Baba still standing⁵. I saw a second Russian officer with the others. It was from the muzzle⁶ of his upturned gun that smoke swirled⁷. The soldier who had meant to shoot Baba had already holstered his weapon. He was shuffling⁸ his feet. I had never felt more like crying and laughing at the same time. 但我睁开眼睛，看到爸爸仍站着，脑里这些盘旋的念头停止了。我看见又一个俄国兵，还有其他人。他的枪口朝天，冒出一阵烟雾。那个要射杀爸爸的士兵已经把他的武器收好，立正敬礼。我从未像此刻一样，又想笑又想哭。

The second Russian officer, gray-haired and heavyset, spoke⁹ to us in broken Farsi. He apologized for his comrade’s behavior. “Russia sends them here to fight,” he said. “But they are just boys, and when they come here, they find the pleasure of drug.” He gave the younger officer the rueful look of a father exasperated¹⁰ with his misbehaving son. “This one is attached to drug now. I try to stop him...” He waved us off. 第二个俄国军官头发灰白，身材魁梧，用一口破法尔西语对我们说话。他为他手下的所作所为道歉，“俄国送他们来这里战斗，”他说，“但他们只是孩子，一来到这里，他们就迷上了毒品。”他恨恨地望着那个年轻的士兵，如同严父被儿子的行为不端激怒。“这个家伙现在药性发作。我会试试阻止他……”他挥手让我们离开。

Moments later, we were pulling away. I heard a laugh and then the first soldier’s voice, slurry and off-key, singing the old wedding song. 顷刻之后，我们的车开走了。我听到一声大笑，跟着传来第一个士兵的声音，含混而走调地唱着那古老的婚礼歌谣。

WE RODE IN SILENCE for about fifteen minutes before the young woman’s husband suddenly stood and did something I’d seen many others do before him: He kissed Baba’s hand. 我们在路上默默行进了十五分钟，那年轻妇女的丈夫突然站起来，做了一件在他之前我曾见到很多人做过的事情：他亲了爸爸的手。