Your friend’s out of work. But while she scrambles¹ to make ends meet and worries about the future, you’re heading into a stable workplace every day and collecting a steady paycheck.Her predicament puts your cranky boss and overloaded² inbox in perspective, and you’re doing everything you can to provide her with leads. You also try to mind your manners when she opens up about the details of her search process.

你的朋友正在找工作。当她还在整天量入为出，为自己的未来担忧时；你却已经拥有了一份稳定的工作和收入。她的窘境让你那脾气暴躁的老板和堆积如山的邮件看上去也没那么讨厌了。所以你想方设法给她提供一些建议，也试着在她细述求职烦恼时注意自己的言行。

Here are a few things it’s probably better not to say so you don’t compound her feelings of frustration³ and isolation⁴:

为了照顾朋友的情绪，使她不会感到沮丧或孤独，以下是你应该注意避免的五大禁忌语：

1. “How’s the job search going?” (again, and again)“

你的工作找得怎么样了？”（一遍又一遍地问）

It’s fine to make conversation and inquire into your friend’s well-being⁵ — but don’t ask incessantly⁶.

你可以和朋友交流，关心以下她的近况，但别总是不停地询问。

Some job search days are better than others, but your friend will be on the market every day until she isn’t anymore. If she hasn’t told you she has a job and is starting next week, don’t expect to be provided with updates every hour. In fact, only ask if you have something to offer.

求职季有些日子会更容易找到工作，但你的朋友在找到工作前每天都会去人才市场报到的。所以除非她主动和你说她下个星期就要开始上班了，别时时都让她给你汇报最新情况。如果你可以有些工作机会或咨询可以提供给她的话则除外。

2. “Here’s what you’re doing wrong…”

“你在这些方面做得不够……”

If your friend asks you for advice, feel free to offer tips and critique her strategy. If she doesn’t ask, don’t attempt to tell her what she’s doing wrong — because you might add to her annoyance⁷ or, worse yet, give her misleading advice.

如果你的朋友征求你对于她求职的意见，那么你可以畅所欲言。如果她没有主动问你，别总是试着告诉她哪儿做错了。这样会让你的朋友很不快，或者更糟糕的是——你可能会给她一个错误的建议。

3. “I know a guy who does the same thing you do. He can hardly tie his shoes, but he was hired within a week of graduation for a six-figure salary. You should think about doing that.”

“我认识一个人，和你专业一样。他连系鞋带都不会，却在毕业一个星期以内找到了一份年薪几十万的工作。你应该学一学他找工作的方法。”

This story can be inspiring if you end it by handing your friend the name and phone number of the manager who hired the guy. But if you aren’t planning to do that, it’s not a good story.

如果你可以把录用故事主人公的公司联系方式给你的朋友的话，那这个故事的确是振奋人心。但如果你没有，那这个故事是想说明什么呢？

4. “That’s the problem with kids in this economy today. They always...”

“现在的年轻人找工作就是这样。他们总是……”

People don’t love being handed a list of everything that’s wrong with them. They also don’t like lists of everything wrong with their generation.

没有哪个人愿意被一条一条列出来哪里做得不好。他们也不愿意自己的缺点被归结到某个年代的通病上。

5. “On the plus side, you have all this free time now!”

“往好的方面想想，你现在多闲啊！”

Your friend knows exactly how much free time she has. No need to rub it in.

你的朋友比谁都清楚她现在有多闲，所以别在这个问题上喋喋不休了。