1. You know that every minute counts when setting¹ your 4,000 alarms.

当你定了4000个闹钟时，你就知道睡眠时间完全是争分夺秒。

2. You know that the night transforms you into a creative genius…

你知道在夜晚你会变成一个富有创造力的天才……

3. …while the day forces you to become a sleepy sloth².

……然而白天你变回一个昏昏欲睡的懒人。

4. You know that putting your phone down while in bed is nearly impossible.

你知道在床上想要放下手机是一件几乎不可能的事。

5. You know that counting sheep is bullshit.

你知道躺在床上数羊简直就是扯淡。

6. And that you'd rather count how many episodes³ of a show you've gone through in one night.

你更情愿数数自己在一夜之间看了多少集电视节目。

7. When you decide to finally fall asleep, you always try to beat the sun…

当你最终决定要睡觉时，你总是力图赶在太阳出来前入睡……

8. …but then end up disappointed⁴ and realize that you've fucked up big time.

……但是你最终会失望地发现自己大错特错，因为太阳已经出来了。

9. Your friends and family will always ask you how you even function this way.

你的朋友和家人会常常问你为什么要选择这种生活方式。

10. And even though you don't know the answer, you get by anyway because you enjoy being a creature of the night.

可是即使你自己也不知道答案，但无论如何你就是享受做一个夜间生物。