“Oh,” he said. I was hoping he’d ask more, but he dealt another hand and asked if we could eat. I opened the paper bag and gave him his meatball sandwich. My lunch consisted of yet another cup of blended bananas and oranges--I’d rented Mrs. Fayyaz’s blender for the week. I sucked through the straw and my mouth filled with the sweet, blended fruit. Some of it dripped from the corner of my lips. Sohrab handed me a napkin and watched me dab¹ at my lips. I smiled and he smiled back.

“哦。”他说。我希望他会多问几句，但他又甩出一手牌，问是不是可以吃东西了。我打开纸袋，给他肉丸夹饼。我的午餐是一杯混合的香蕉汁和橙汁——那个星期我租了费亚兹太太的榨汁机。我用吸管吮着，满嘴甜甜的混合果汁。有些从嘴角流出来，索拉博递给我一张纸巾，看着我擦嘴唇。我朝他微笑，他也微笑。

“Your father and I were brothers,” I said. It just came out. I had wanted to tell him the night we had sat by the mosque², but I hadn’t. But he had a right to know; I didn’t want to hide anything anymore. “Half brothers, really. We had the same father.”

“你父亲跟我是兄弟。”我说，自然而然地。在我们坐在清真寺附近那晚，我本来打算告诉他，但终究没说出口。可是他有权利知道，我不想再隐瞒什么事情了。“同父异母，真的。我们有共同的爸爸。”

Sohrab stopped chewing. Put the sandwich down. “Father never said he had a brother.”“That’s because he didn’t know.”“Why didn’t he know?”

索拉博不再吃东西了，把夹饼放下，“爸爸没说过他有兄弟。”“那是因为他不知道。”“他为什么不知道？”

“No one told him,” I said. “No one told me either. I just found out recently.”Sohrab blinked. Like he was looking at me, really looking at me, for the very first time. “But why did people hide it from Father and you?”

“没人告诉他，”我说，“也没人告诉我。我最近才发现。”索拉博眨眼，好像那是他第一次看着我，第一次真正看着我。“可是人们为什么瞒着爸爸和你呢？”

“You know, I asked myself that same question the other day. And there’s an answer, but not a good one. Let’s just say they didn’t tell us because your father and I... we weren’t supposed to be brothers.”

“你知道吗，那天我也问了这个问题。那儿有个答案，但不是个好答案。让我们这么说吧，人们瞒着我们，因为你父亲和我……我们不应该被当成兄弟。”

“Because he was a Hazara?”I willed my eyes to stay on him. “Yes.” “因为他是哈扎拉人吗？”我强迫自己看着他：“是的。”

“Did your father,” he began, eyeing his food, “did your father love you and my father equally?”

“你父亲，”他眼睛看着食物，说，“你父亲爱你和爱我爸爸一样多吗？”

I thought of a long ago day at Ghargha Lake, when Baba had allowed himself to pat Hassan on the back when Hassan’s stone had outskipped mine. I pictured Baba in the hospital room, beaming as they removed the bandages from Hassan’s lips. “I think he loved us equally but differently.”

我想起很久以前，有一天我们在喀尔卡湖，哈桑的石头比我多跳了几下，爸爸情不自禁拍着哈桑的后背。我想起爸爸在病房里，看着人们揭开哈桑唇上的绷带，喜形于色。“我想他对我们的爱是一样的，但方式不同。”

“Was he ashamed of my father?”

“他为我爸爸感到羞耻吗？”

“No,” I said. “I think he was ashamed of himself.”

“不，”我说，“我想他为自己感到羞耻。”

He picked up his sandwich and nibbled³ at it silently.

他捡起夹饼，默默地吃起来。