When you meet someone for the first time, do you put across a good impression? And what do we mean by 'good' in this context?

与人第一次见面时，你能给人留下一个好印象吗？在这里我们所谓的“好”又指的是什么呢？

According to Presence, a new book by Harvard Business School professor Amy Cuddy, people assess you on two main criteria¹ when they first meet you:

哈佛商学院教授艾米·库迪的新书《存在》 ，谈到了影响第一印象的两个主要评判标准：

1. Can I trust this person?

他（她）值得我信赖吗？

2. Can I respect this person?

他（她）值得我尊重吗？

You level of trustworthiness, or warmth, is the most important factor in how people initially² perceive you, Cuddy says - yet many mistakenly believe that the second factor, characterised as competence³, is more important.

库迪说，可信度（或者说亲近感）是影响人们第一印象最重要的因素。但许多人错误的认为第二个因素——能力——才更重要。

"From an evolutionary⁴ perspective,” Cuddy writes, “it is more crucial to our survival to know whether a person deserves our trust.”

库迪在书中写道：“从进化的角度看，知晓一个人是否值得我们信任，对我们的生存更为重要。”

While displaying competence is certainly beneficial, particularly in a work setting, Cuddy warns that focusing on winning people's respect, while failing to win their trust, can backfire - a common problem for young professionals attempting to make a good impression early on in their careers.

向别人展示能力当然会对我们有好处，尤其是在工作场合。但库迪提醒大家，只顾赢得别人的尊重而忽视赢得别人的信任，可能会适得其反。想要在事业早期给别人留下好印象的职场新人，普遍存在这个问题。

"If someone you're trying to influence doesn't trust you, you're not going to get very far; in fact, you might even elicit⁵ suspicion because you come across as manipulative," Cuddy says.

库迪说：“如果你尝试去影响的人并不信任你，那么你是走不了很远的；事实上，因为你给别人留下了控制欲强的印象，他们反而对你有疑虑。”

"A warm, trustworthy person who is also strong elicits⁶ admiration⁷, but only after you've established trust does your strength become a gift rather than a threat."

一个平易近人、值得信任，同时能力又强的人，才会让人心生敬佩。不过，只有在你们之间建立了信任后，你的能力才会变成一种优点，而不是一种威胁。

In Cuddy's book she also explains some of the science that can help you spot a liar⁸.

库迪在书中也提供了一些科学理论，可以帮你识别撒谎的人。

When a person is lying there is likely to be discrepancies⁹ between what they are saying and what they are doing, she suggests.

她表示，一个人在说谎时，他的言行可能会有不一致的地方。

“Lying is hard work," she writes. “We're telling one story while suppressing another, and most of us are experiencing psychological guilt¹⁰ about doing this, which we're also trying suppress. We just don't have the brainpower to manage it all without letting something go - without 'leaking’.”

她写道：“说谎并非易事，编造谎言的同时也意味着隐瞒另一个事实，大多数人还会因撒谎而心生愧疚，并试图掩盖愧疚。我们人类的脑力还没有强大到可以在撒谎时做到天衣无缝——即不让自己“露馅”。

The author adds that these ‘leaks’ can be seen in a person displaying conflicting emotions, like a happy tone of voice paired with an angry facial expression.

作者补充说，如果一个人表达的情感产生了冲突——比如语调是欢快的，但同时呈现的面部表情却是愤怒的——最容易被人抓住撒谎的漏洞。

“It’s about how well or poorly our multiple channels of communication — facial expressions, posture¹¹, movement, vocal¹² qualities, speech – co-operate,” she adds.

她还说，这跟我们与人交流时，对身体协调能力的掌控有关：包括面部表情、姿势、动作、音质以及说话方式。

Professor Cuddy argues that most of us are not very good at spotting a liaras we are distracted by the words coming out of their mouth.

库迪教授说，大多数人并不善于识别说谎者，因为我们可能会被他们的言语分散注意力。

“When we’re consciously looking for signs of deception¹³ or truth, we pay too much attention to words and not enough to the nonverbal gestalt of what’s going on,” the professor adds. “Truth reveals itself more clearly through actions than it does through our words.

她补充说：“当我们小心翼翼找寻谎言或事实的迹象时，我们往往会过分关注说话人的言语，而忽视与之同时出现的肢体语言。肢体动作比言语更能揭示出事实真相。”