As a recent college grad, I was starting to figure out this adult life thing — I got a job, found a place to live and managed to balance a social life with these new 9-5 responsibilities. Things were going according to plan, until they weren't. I lost my dad suddenly to cancer, and that's when it felt as if nothing would ever be good again.

作为一个刚刚走出校园的大学毕业生，我开始适应成年人的生活——我找到一份工作，找了一个住的地方，努力试着平衡社交生活和朝九晚五的新职责。一切都依计划进行着，直到有一天戛然而止。我突然因为癌症失去了父亲，从那时起，好像一切都不会再好起来了。

I second-guessed all of my choices and simultaneously¹ assumed² that everyone else had it all figured out. I counted the ways I felt cheated: My grief³ felt crippling⁴; my job started to lose its luster⁵; I didn't have the bank account I wanted; I didn't like the way I felt on the inside, which translated to how I felt about how I looked and how I acted. I was cranky... a lot. I was tired of seeing friends accelerating⁶ into adult life while each day felt like a challenge I had to overcome. I was sad from top to bottom and from the inside out — until I heard a quote that quite literally⁷ changed my life.

我重新审视了自己所有的选择，与此同时感觉其他人好像都过得清楚明白。我历数自己感觉自欺的地方：我的悲伤愈演愈烈；工作开始失去光彩；我还没有存下自己想要的钱；我不喜欢内心的感觉，也就是说我不喜欢自己的样子、自己的处事方式。我崩溃了……非常严重。我厌倦了去见那些加速奔向成年生活的朋友们，每天都好像是不得不克服的挑战。我从上到下、从里到外都浸着悲伤——直到有一天我听到一句格言，才真正改变了我的生活。

"If you can't change a situation, change your mind."

“如果你无法改变环境，那么就改变心境。”

I was in the middle of a yoga class, and it felt like the teacher was speaking directly to me. I can't remember which pose⁸ I was in, the song that was playing or the day of the week, but I do remember feeling his words reverberate⁹ in my bones. It was a wake up call, and I chose to listen.

我当时正在上瑜伽课，这句话就好像是老师直接对我说的。我不记得当时正在做什么姿势、房间里播放着什么样的音乐、那天是星期几，但我清楚地记得感觉他的话在我的骨髓里久久回响。那是将我唤醒的声音，而我选择了聆听。

Grief is real. And the things dragging me down were mostly out of my control, but my attitude was something only I could manage. So I started over. I fiercely protected my attitude and reactions to situations the way a mother bear might care for her cub¹⁰. I had always been such a happy person and I wanted to be that person again.

悲伤是真实的，那些将我拖下去的事务也多半是无法掌控的，但我的态度是我唯一可以控制的东西。所以我让一切重新开始。我奋力地保护着我对外界环境的态度和反应，就像一只熊妈妈保护幼崽那样。我曾经是一个那么快乐的人，我希望能再次成为那个人。

I wrote the quote down on post-it notes and stuck them everywhere: on my bedroom mirror, across the back of my phone case and even on my laptop keyboard. I doodled it on my to-do lists and wrote it in my journal¹¹. I repeated it to myself constantly. I wanted to feel better, and now I had a plan. Timing¹² is everything. If I wasn't ready, the best advice of my life might have fallen on deaf ears. But I wanted so badly to feel better.

我把这句格言写在便利贴上，贴在所有的地方：卧室镜子上、手机壳背面，甚至是笔记本电脑键盘上。我把它涂写在待办事项清单上，把它写进日记里。我不断地对自己重复这句话。我希望感觉好一些，而现在我已经有了一个计划。时机就是一切。如果我没有做好准备，就很可能会对这句最好的人生建议充耳不闻，但我是那么渴望感觉好起来。

Slowly, I formed a new habit. "If you can't change a situation, change your mind" became my go-to response for everything from a claustrophobic subway car to a terrible date to a disagreement with a friend. Of course there were days when I felt awful despite my best efforts. And there are still moments when negativity gets the best of me.

慢慢地，我形成了一个新的习惯。“如果你无法改变环境，那么就改变心境”成了我遇事的第一反应，从幽闭的地铁到糟糕的约会再到朋友间的龃龉。当然，有些日子尽管尽了最大努力，仍然感觉很糟，有时候消极思想还是会占据上风。

But I made a promise to myself to wake up every day and try. Feeling angry and upset won't change anything about so many situations I found myself in — in fact, it usually made things worse. Changing something I could control, like my mind, made all the difference.

但我向自己承诺每天都要起床奋斗。感到愤怒和不安并不能让我所处的环境出现任何改变——事实上，这样做常常会让事情变得更糟。而改变我可以掌控的东西，比如改变心境，却能让一切发生变化。