We were thinking we'd have our shit together in our twenties.

我们在想20多岁的时候，大家都一起干过傻事。

1. Getting epic¹ breakouts.

1、给人深刻印象的大爆发。

We all thought pimples² magically disappeared at 18.

我们都以为18岁的时候，痘痘就会神奇地消失了。

2. Being terrible at flirting³.

非常可怕的调情。

Tbh it was probably easier as a teen.

老实说，十几岁的时候这么干可能更容易些。

3. Saying something incredibly dumb in front of a crush.

在迷恋对象面前说一些不可思议的蠢话。

4. Doing something incredibly dumb in front of a crush.

在迷恋对象面前做一些不可思议的蠢事。

5. Sending weird⁴ drunk texts.

喝醉后，发送怪异的短信。

Or worse, social media updates.

或者更糟，更新社交网络。

6. Getting fomo about everything.

害怕错过一切有趣的人或事。

7. Finding out your friends have done something without you.

发现朋友做了一些事，而且没带你耍。

8. Hearing things a ~friend~ has said behind your back.

得知一个“朋友”在你背后说过的话。

Best thing about being an adult, is you can (probably) cut them out of your life and not deal with them in the future.

作为成年人最好的事情就是你能够(大概)在生活中远离他们，将来也不同他们相处。

9. Watching a movie with your parents and feeling awkward AF when a sex scene comes on.

和父母一起看电影，在上演激情戏的时候，觉得非常尴尬。

10. Attempting to hold a conversation with someone you don’t know very well.

试图与自己不太了解的人对话。

11. Going to a party with friends or your partner and not knowing anyone.

和朋友或父母一起去参加聚会，且不认识聚会上的其他所有人。

12. Just trying to make new friends in general.

只是想结交新朋友。

13. Saying “You too!” after a waiter tells you to enjoy your meal.

在服务员对你说请慢用后，说“你也是!”。

14. Getting busted⁵ chucking a sickie.

装病请假失败。

15. Being called upon to answer something in a work meeting and not knowing what to say.

工作会议上被要求对某事作出回应，却不知道该说什么。

16. Dealing⁶ with cliques⁷ in the workplace.

在工作场合处理拉帮结派。

No one tells you it still happens after high school.

没人告诉你高中毕业后还会出现拉帮结派这种事。

17. Sending a message to the wrong person.

把短信发给错误的收信人。

It was most likely about them.

这是最有可能的。

18. And still spending your money on totally unnecessary things.

还有把钱花在完全不必要的事情上。