Ways to raise 'good' kids, according to Harvard psychologists

哈佛心理学家建议抚养“好”孩子的方法

Here are the 2 parenting strategies¹ they outlined that are proven to raise caring children.

下面是哈佛心里学家概括的2个有效关爱教育孩子的方法

1. Put Fun Time on the Calendar

1.在日历上标注上娱乐时间

Why: Kids learn about care and respect when they are treated with care and respect, psychologists say. The best time to give them care and respect—when you're doing something fun together!

原因：当孩子们受到了父母的关爱与尊重，他们也会学会关爱和尊重他人。当你们在一起做一些有意思的事情的时候，就是给予他们关爱和尊重最好的时间。

How: It's as simple as reading your child a bedtime story or playing tennis together. "Build one-on-one time into their weekly schedules rather than leaving it to chance," the findings² suggest. That way you'll treat it just as importantly as that work meeting, and it's more likely to happen on a regular basis. Asking questions like "what was the best part of your day?" and "what did you accomplish today that makes you feel good?" can help them learn to think beyond the surface level of their actions and identify their feelings.

做法：就譬如在床头给孩子讲故事或者一起打乒乓球那样简单。研究表明“在每周的计划中都安排一次娱乐时间，而不是顺其自然一起玩耍。”你需要像对待工作会议一样重视娱乐时间，而且最好是定期玩一次。问一些问题，例如“你今天感觉最好的是什么呢？”或者“你今天完成了什么任务让你感觉不错？”，这些问题能够帮助他们不止停留在行为表面进行思考，而是明确自己的感受。

2. Be a Strong Role Model

2.做最强大的榜样

Why: The experts say your child learns ethical³ values and behaviors by watching you.

原因：专家称你的孩子通过观察你学会道德观念和行为。

How: Pay close attention to whether or not you're practicing honesty, fairness, and caring for yourself. "Nobody is perfect all the time," the Harvard report points out. "That is why it's important for us, in fact, to model for children humility⁴, self-awareness, and honesty by acknowledging⁵ and working on our mistakes and flaws⁶." Your kids know you're not perfect—or they will when they get to their teenage years—so own it and use it as a chance to talk through your mistakes with your child.

做法：要密切注意自己是否表现诚实、公正，关爱自己。哈佛报告中指出“没有人能时刻保持完美。实际上，这就是我们需要通过承认并改进自己的错误和缺点，成为孩子谦虚、自觉、诚实的榜样的重要原因。”你的孩子知道你并不完美——或者当他们长大成为青少年的时候就会明白这一点——所以要利用自己的不完美，借此机会与孩子讨论自己的错误。