Until a couple of years ago, the thing that frightened me more than anything else — even more than my childhood terror of bats making a nest in my hair — was standing¹ up before a group of benign² people and opening my mouth.

直到几年前，最让我害怕的事——比小时候害怕蝙蝠在我头发里筑窝还甚——就是面对一群善良的人们开口讲话。

My fear of public speaking was as irrational³ as it was extreme.

我对公开发言的恐惧既严重，又没道理。

So much so that I spent the first two decades of my working life going to great lengths to ensure I never had to do it.

以至于我用职业生涯的前二十年竭力确保自己永远不会跟这事沾边。

Then, around my 40th birthday, I decided⁴ this was not only career limiting but also pathetic, and so started to force myself to accept invitations.

后来，在我40岁生日前后，我认为这种恐惧不仅令我事业受限而且还很可悲，于是我开始强迫自己接受演讲邀约。

The night before my first big speech I was so nervous I failed to sleep at all, and in the morning put on bright pink shoes in the fond hope that the jauntiness⁵ of my feet would trick the audience into thinking their owner felt the same way.

在我第一次重要演讲的前一夜，因为太过紧张我一点都睡不着觉，第二天早上我穿了双亮粉色的鞋，一厢情愿地希望自己轻快活泼的双脚可以哄得观众以为我本人也一样淡定自若。

Fifteen years on I have dispensed⁶ with the pink shoes and speak with almost no fear.

十五年过去，我已不再需要粉色的鞋并且可以几乎无所畏惧地发言了。

My body obligingly generates just about enough adrenalin so that I focus on what I am meant to be doing, but that’s about it.

我的身体通情达理地分泌出刚好适量的肾上腺素让我既可以专注自己要做的事，又不会紧张过度。

My history, and my sympathy for the millions similarly afflicted⁷, means I get cross every time I see dud advice.

我的经历，以及我对数百万有类似困扰的人们的同情，让我每次见到没用的建议就火大。

The Harvard Business Review recently published a piece on the subject in which it suggested the trick is to leverage⁸ our physical bodies to be more present.

哈佛商业评论》(Harvard Business Review)近日发表了一篇关于这个问题的文章，其中提到克服紧张的诀窍是调动我们的身体更多地感受当下。

I have no idea what leveraging⁹ your body involves, but it does not sound comfortable.

我不知道要怎么调动身体，这听起来就不舒服。

In any case, being present before a speech is a bad idea.

不管怎样，在演讲前感受当下都是个馊主意。

What you want to do is to absent yourself as much as possible in the hope of calming down a bit.

那时你只想让自己尽可能脱离当下，以求能稍微冷静一点。

Even more laughable is the tip that you get a good night’s sleep beforehand.

更可笑的是这个诀窍：你要在演讲前一晚睡个好觉。

Quite how one is supposed to do that when the whole point about nerves is that they are incompatible¹⁰ with sleep is not made clear.

紧张之所以讨厌，就在于它让人睡不好觉，演讲前一晚紧张不已的时候究竟如何才能睡个好觉，文章倒没说。

The more interesting question is which is worse: to zonk yourself with sleeping pills and be groggy¹¹ in the morning, or to be sleepless¹² and jangly with exhaustion¹³?

更有意思的问题是，下面两种情况哪一种更糟：是让自己吃几片安眠药睡过去然后第二天早上昏昏沉沉，还是一晚无眠后因筋疲力尽而过度聒噪。

Over the years I have found an answer to this question and have developed a five-step approach to mastering the panic of presentations.

这些年来我找到了这个问题的答案，并且形成了一套掌控演讲恐慌的五步法。

First, on the question of substances, I have found the problem with sleeping pills is that they not only remove nerves but also remove all feeling altogether.

首先，关于是否使用药物的问题，我发现安眠药的问题在于，它在消除紧张的同时，也会把其它感受一并消除。

Being shattered beats being a zombie.

筋疲力尽总好过变成行尸走肉。

Beta blockers, in extremis, work better for calming nerves.

如果非要吃药的话，用倍他乐克来安抚神经要好一些。

So does a small amount of alcohol.

喝一点酒也同样可行。

For a morning speech a nip from a hip flask¹⁴ may not be quite the thing, but for evening speeches one (or two) glasses of wine take the edge off.

如果早晨演讲，从随身携带的小酒壶里喝两口可能不是太好，但如果演讲在晚上，喝上一杯（或两杯）红酒确实能安神。

The next tip is to offset¹⁵ the fear of speaking with a larger, more rational one.

我的下一条小窍门是，用一种更大、更理性的恐惧来抵消对发言的恐惧。

Once, when cycling to the place where I was due to speak, I narrowly avoided being squashed by a cement mixer.

曾经，我在骑车去演讲现场的路上，险些被一台混凝土搅拌车撞得稀巴烂。

The reminder¹⁶ that I felt no fear at the very real risk of death, and every fear at risk of giving a slightly lame¹⁷ talk shamed me into being less afraid.

想到自己面对非常切实的死亡风险尚且无所畏惧，对演讲可能表现不好的所有恐惧都让我感到羞愧，害怕之情也随之减轻。

My third tip is to remind yourself how godawful most business people are at speaking.

我的第三条小窍门是，想想多数商界人士的演讲有多糟。

The usual advice, ensure your speech goes before other people’s, only works if the others are unusually good.

通常教人克服紧张的建议，都是让你确保自己比别人先发言，而这只在其他人表现得非常好时才奏效。

Otherwise it is better to go later and calm yourself beforehand by watching their substandard performances and noting the audience’s boredom¹⁸.

否则还是晚一点上台为妙，通过旁观别人差劲的表现、注意到听众对他们的演讲感到多么无聊来镇定自己。

The bar is low: you can easily clear it.

大家讲得都不怎么样：你很容易就能达到平均水准。

The fourth piece of advice ought not to need saying: always arrive unfeasibly early.

第四条建议本应是不言而喻的：永远尽可能地提前到场。

Reduce to zero the risk that speech nerves are compounded by lateness ones.

杜绝这样的风险：因担心迟到而对演讲更加紧张。

My final tip is the most painful, but also the most effective.

最后一招最痛苦，但也最有效。

It is to practise in front of the world’s most unforgiving audience — a yawning teenager who never laughs at any of the jokes and keeps asking, How much more of this is there? Bad rehearsal¹⁹, good performance.

就是在全世界最挑剔的观众面前演练——一个任何笑料都难以取悦的呵欠连天的少年，还不停地问：还有多久完事？糟糕的预演，不错的表现。

In the long term, there are two things that work better than these five tips put together.

长远看来，有两件事比上面五条加起来还管用。

The first is experience.

第一就是经验。

The more talks you give the less nervous you get — partly because you improve, but mainly because you work out that the world does not end if things do not go quite to plan.

讲得越多你越淡定——部分原因在于你进步了，但主要是因为你懂得了，情况进展不尽如人意并非世界末日。

Better still is getting old.

更管用的是年纪渐长。

One of the beauties of being over 50 is that you go post-fear, at least at work.

年过五十的一件美事就是你超越了恐惧，至少在工作上是这样。

I am still frightened by what is happening in the world.

我仍会被世界上发生着的事吓到。

I am still frightened for my children.

我也仍会为我的孩子们担惊受怕。

But I am no longer frightened about myself.

但我不再会为自己惊慌失措。

As for standing up in front of a friendly audience and talking on something I know about — I can hardly remember why it seemed so scary.

至于面对一群友好的观众谈些我所了解的事——我已不大记得为什么以前它让我那么害怕。