DON'T MOVE TOO FAST

别进展太快

It can be tempting¹ to want to blow through the honeymoon² stage and quickly settle into a comfortable routine or worse, do something drastic like move in together too soon.

匆忙度过蜜月阶段，迅速进入更舒适或者糟糕的下一阶段，这很有诱惑力，那就做点儿激进的事吧，比如过早地同居。

But wanting to spend every second together could be the death knell³ for your partner - so don't drop your whole life for them.

但想分分秒秒粘在一起可能导致分手，所以别为恋人倾注所有。

Make sure to spend a few nights alone, continue to make time for the things you love and still go out with your friends.

一定要独处几个晚上，继续腾出时间做你喜欢的事，仍与你朋友出去玩。

It's important to retain a little mystery to keep things exciting, says Meredith Fineman, founder⁴ of Fifty First (J)Dates.

初恋50次（交友网）创始人梅雷迪思・法恩曼说，重要的是要保持点神秘，保持住激情。

DON'T ASSUME THEY'RE PERFECT

别把伴侣理想化

In the early days of a new relationship, you always try a little - or a lot - harder to impress your new partner.

新关系早期，你总或多或少会更努力地尝试打动你的新伴侣。

But don't expect that they will maintain those standards and give the relationship a bit more time before deciding if they're the one.

但别指望他们会一直符合这些标准，在决定是否找对了人之前，给恋情发展多一点时间。

Kate Figes, author of books including 'Couples: How We Make Love Last', says it's important to understand and accept that your new partner isn't infallible.

情侣：我们如何延续爱情》的作者凯特•菲格斯说，理解并接受你的伴侣会犯错这一事实，这很重要。

DON'T BE POSSESSIVE

占有欲别太强

Clinginess is always a turn-off.

过分依恋往往导致分手。

Just because you're newly dating doesn't mean your partner is obligated to spend all their time with you.

仅因你们初识并不意味着你的伴侣有义务为你投入所有时间。

Expecting (or demanding) too much of their time could signal to them that you're not compatible or that you don't trust them.

期望（或要求）伴侣花大把时间陪你会给他们一个暗示：你不适合或者不信任他们。

DON'T AVOID SERIOUS DISCUSSIONS

别避免严肃的讨论

Don't avoid talking about your long-term goals and ambitions: Do you want to get married? Do you want kids?

不要避免谈论你的长远目标：你想结婚吗？你想要孩子吗？

They don't need to happen on the very first date, but shouldn't be avoided for too long.

不用第一天就阐明这些，可也不要拖太久。

DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR EXES CONSTANTLY

别经常谈论你的前任

Talking about past relationships is often unavoidable, but in the early stages of a new one, it can do some serious damage.

谈论过去的关系往往是不可避免的，但对新欢来说这可能会很致命。

Not only could it suggest that you're not over your ex, it could also make you or your new partner draw comparisons.

这不仅说明你没有走出上一段恋情，也会让你或者你的新伴侣与之作比较。

Heather and Eric Viets, who both have Master's degrees in Marriage and Family Therapy and run Preengaged.com, both agree that discussing past relationships is a major turn-off in a new one.

希瑟和艾瑞克-维茨都有婚姻和家庭治疗硕士学位，并且运行“婚前”网站，他们都认为，讨论前任是新关系出现裂痕的重大原因。

DON'T LIE

别撒谎

Honesty is always the best policy and a new relationship is no different.

诚实始终是最好的良方，这在新的关系中也不例外。

It's best to communicate openly about what you want rather than lie to avoid an argument, as it's just delaying the inevitable⁵.

最好公开地表达你想要什么，因为迟早都会暴露出来，而非说谎避免讨论。

Even little white lies - like pretending to enjoy the same music or movies - could lead to huge regrets if you end up forced to spend years putting up with something you hate.

即使善意的谎言——像假装喜欢相同的音乐或电影——如果你最终被迫花费多年时间忍受自己讨厌的东西，都可能让你非常后悔。