1. Physical appearance

1. 外表长相

Yeah, we have all heard the phrase: beauty is only skin deep, and that’s certainly true. If you find yourself focusing only on what a person looks like, that is a sad basis for forming a relationship. Hairstyles, fashion sense, piercings, and tattoos¹ – none of these things reveal much about who a person is on the inside.

是的，我们都听过这句话：美丽只是外在的，这当然是真理。如果你发现自己只注重他人的外表，这是建立恋爱关系的一个悲哀准则。发型、时尚感、穿孔和纹身，这些都不能展现一个人的内在品质。

2. Age

2.年龄

Having lived in Japan, this one still continues to blow my mind. People will get frantic² if they are still single by 30 years old. Especially women. Many cultures assume there is a ‘marriageable age,’ a limiter on the body based on numbers. I think that marriageable age is silly. The digits³ that represent how long you have been on this planet are no representation of your health, beauty, worth, or anything close to how you connect with others.

之前在日本居住过，年龄这一因素一直让我很纠结。如果人们到了30岁还是单身，那他们会变得疯狂。尤其是女人。许多文化假设有“结婚年龄”，基于数字对身体的限制。我认为适婚年龄非常愚蠢。表示你在地球上生存长度的数字，并不能表现你的健康、美丽、价值以及任何与你交往方式相关的意义。

Now, I am not saying an 80-year-old can marry a 12-year-old. Ew. No, what I’m saying is that, when you are mature enough to know who you are in love with, it should not matter if they are forty-something and you are in your twenties.

在这里，我的意思不是说80岁的人可以和12岁的小孩儿结婚。额。不是的，我的意思是，当你足够成熟，知道自己爱谁的时候，如果你爱的人40岁左右，而你20多岁，这并不重要。

You both have long, fulfilling lives in the head of you. So don’t focus on a number. Besides, with worldwide health improvements, a good diet, a decent level of fitness and a whole lot of laughter can turn a 70-year-old body into a biologically 35-year-old body.

你们的人生道路都还很长，很有意义。所以不要注重数字。此外，随着全球健康水平的提高，合理膳食、适当健身以及爱笑都能让70岁的身体变成生理年龄为35岁的身体。

3. Family history

3.家庭史

How your person of interest grew up, and the issues they faced with family members is certainly of curiosity many of us seek to question on even on the first date. As tempting⁴ as it might be to rule out a potential candidate based on how nutty their family is or what they have been through, don’t.

你对人的兴趣如何成长的，以及他们面临的家庭成员问题，当然是我们在首次约会的时候，出于好奇会问的。人们总是倾向于根据一个人家庭的古怪或者他们的经历而淘汰潜在的约会对象，但是千万不要这样做。