How Low Emotional Intelligence Affects Relationships

低情绪智力怎么影响人际关系？

Low emotional intelligence is a problem that can have an influence on a wide variety of social relationships. Some experts even suggest that emotional intelligence may actually be more important than IQ in determining overall success in life.

低的情绪智力是一个可能对你的社会关系造成很大影响的问题。一些专家甚至认为情绪智力实际上比智商更能决定一个人是否能成功。

Think about the last time you got into an argument with someone else because they did not understand how you felt. Or consider the last time you had conflict with another person because you could not understand what they were feeling. In both cases, emotional intelligence might play a role in the underlying¹ conflict.

想想上一次你因为别人不理解你的感受而和别人发生争吵的时候。或是想想上一次因为你不能理解别人的感受而导致的争吵。在这两种情况下，情绪智力都可能是导致争吵的本质原因。

Emotional intelligence can play a major role in how we interact with others. Sometimes coworkers, employers, friends, family members and other acquaintances might struggle with poor emotional skills that make social situations difficult and fraught² with tension. In other cases, it might even be your own emotional intelligence skills that need a little work.

情绪智力在你与他人的交流中占据着重要作用。有时同事，雇员，朋友，家庭成员和其它熟人都可能因为糟糕的情绪控制技能而让社交情景变得困难且紧张。在这些情况下，你自己的情绪智力技巧可能会有些作用。

An individual’s level of emotional intelligence is often referred to as his or her emotional intelligence quotient, or EQ. Here are some of the classic signs of low emotional intelligence:

一个人情绪智力的高低经常被用情商来指代，或者说EQ。以下是一些经典的低情商的表现:

1. Getting in lots of arguments.

1. 时常陷入争吵

You probably know someone who always seems to get into arguments with others. Friends, family, co-workers and even random³ strangers find themselves embroiled⁴ in disputes with these argumentative individuals. Because low EQ individuals struggle to understand the emotions of others, they often find themselves arguing without considering how others are feeling.

也许你认识一些人，他们似乎很容易就和别人争论不休。朋友，家人，同事，甚至是陌生人，都发现他们和这些易于与他们产生争论的人陷入过纠纷。因为低情商的人很难理解他人的情绪，导致了争吵是因为他们总是无法考虑别人的想法。

2. Not understanding how others feel.

2. 不能明白他人的感受

Low EQ people are often completely oblivious⁵ to the feelings of other people. They don’t get that their spouses⁶ might be angry at them or that their co-workers are irritated. Not only that but they also feel very annoyed that other people expect them to know how they are feeling. Emotions, in general, tend to exasperate⁷ people with low EQ.

情商低的人往往完全不理会别人的感受。他们意识不到他们的配偶或同事可能会很生气。不仅如此，他们也对他们被希望能理解他人这点而十分愤怒。总的说来，低情商的人很情绪化且易怒。

3. Thinking that other people are overly sensitive.

3. 认为别人过分敏感

People who are low in EQ might crack off jokes at inappropriate times. For example, they might make a joke at a funeral or right after a tragic⁸ event. When other people react to such out-of-line jokes, the low EQ individual may feel like others are simply being too sensitive. These individuals have difficulty understanding the emotions of others, so it’s little wonder why they are unable to interpret the emotional tone after such events.

低情商的人总是在不恰当的时候开玩笑。比如，他们可能在葬礼或是其他悲伤的事发生后开玩笑。当其他人对这类有些出格的玩笑做出反应时，低情商患者觉得他人总是太敏感了。他们很难理解别人的感受，因此也并不奇怪为什么他们在这类事件过后也不能正确理解别人的情绪基调了。

4. Refusing to listen to other points of view.

4. 拒绝听其他的观点

Low EQ individuals feel that they are right and will defend their position with great vigor⁹, yet refuse to listen to what others have to say. This is particularly true if other people are critical of how the individual does not understand what others are feeling. They are often pessimistic and overly critical of other people’s feelings.

低情商的人认为他们总是对的，并会十分积极的维护他们的观点，同时拒绝倾听别人的观点。如果他人对于这位（低情商患者）不理解别人的感受提出质疑，那就更明显了。他们总是消极对待并过分质疑他人的感受。

5. Blaming others for mistakes.

5. 责备别人的错误

People with low emotional intelligence have little insight into how their ownemotions might lead to problems. When things go wrong, their first instinct is to blame others. They often blame characteristics of the situation or the behaviors of other people for their actions. They might suggest that they had no other choice for what they did and that other people are simply not understanding their situation. This tendency to not take responsibility often leaves them feeling bitter and victimized.

低情商的人几乎意识不到他们自身的情绪可能导致的问题。当事情出问题时，他们的第一本能就是责怪别人。他们总是把原因归咎于环境的特征或是其他人的行为。他们可能会说那时的行为是因为别无选择并且其他人都不懂他们所面临的处境。这类不负责的方式也常令他们感到痛苦并受伤。

6. An inability to cope with emotionally-charged situations.

6. 无法应对情绪化的场景

Strong emotions, whether their own or those of others, are difficult to comprehend for those with low emotional intelligence. These individuals will often walk away from such situations to avoid having to deal with the emotional fallout. Hiding their true emotions from others is also very common.

不管是别人的还是自己的激烈的情绪，对那些低情商的人来说都是很难理解的。这类人通常会远离情绪激烈波动的情景以逃避可能出现的情绪崩溃。在他人面前隐藏自己的真实情绪也很常见。

7. Sudden emotional outbursts.

7. 突然的情绪爆发

The ability to regulate emotions is one of the five critical components¹⁰ of emotional intelligence. People with low EQ often struggle to understand and control their emotions. They might have unexpected emotional outbursts that seem overblown and uncontrollable.

情商的五个重要衡量指标中就有控制情绪的能力这点。低情商的人在控制和管理情绪这点上很吃力。有时他们可能会突然出现夸张且难以控制的情绪爆发。

8. Difficulty maintaining friendships.

8. 很难保持一段友谊

Because low IQ people often come off as abrasive¹¹ and unfeeling, they have difficulty maintaining friendships. Close friendships require a mutual¹² give-and-take, sharing of emotions, compassion¹³, and emotional support, all of which low EQ individuals struggle with.

因为低情商的人总是表现的令人厌烦且不理解别人，他们很难维持一段友谊。一段亲密的友谊需要相互的给予，感情分享，同情，和情感上的支持，所有的这些都是低情商的人很难做到的。

9. Lack of empathy.

9. 缺乏同情心

Because people with low emotional intelligence do not understand the emotions of others, they experience little empathy for other people. They do not get what others are feeling, so it is impossible for them to place themselves in another person’s shoes.

因为低情商的人很难理解别人的情绪，他们也很少对别人产生同情心。他们并不能理解别人的感受，也因此设身处地的换位思考对他们来说几乎是不可能的事。

Poor emotional intelligence can wreak¹⁴ havoc¹⁵ in multiple areas of a person’s life. School, work, family, friendships, and romantic relationships are just a few areas where a person with low EQ will encounter major problems. If you think that your emotional skills could use a little work, start by learning more about the five major components of emotional intelligence.

糟糕的情商可能会对一个人生活的方方面面都造成破坏。低情商的人在学校，工作，家庭，友谊，爱情这些方面都可能遇到问题。如果你觉得你的情商还没有那么有效，可以试着从了解情商的五个主要因素开始（提高自己的情商）。