Coming face-to-face with your inadequacies can be painful, to say the least. It challenges the way that you believe people see you and even makes you question yourself. Your knee-jerk reaction may be to get defensive¹ or even dismiss the critique entirely². But handling negative feedback with grace and decorum will not only make you look gracious, but it could ultimately help you grow as a person. Here’s how to do it.

面对不足之处是痛苦的，至少可以说这样说。它让你质疑人们看待你的方式，甚至让你质疑自己。你也许会本能地开启防守，甚至进行驳回。但是，得体地处理负面信息不仅会让你更优雅，而且最终会帮助你成长。以下是方法。

1.Be objective about the criticism

1.客观对待批评

Before you jump to conclusions and begin to challenge the other person’s opinion, take a step back and look at it objectively.

在你下结论并开始质疑别人的意见之前，先退后一步，客观地看待它。

Next time you get a bad review, don’t immediately allow your emotions to get the better of you, but rather, take a moment to consider whether the criticism is at all accurate. Give yourself a chance to really take in the information and evaluate it.

下次你遇到负面评价时，不要立即让情绪主导自己，而是花点时间来思考批评是否属实 。给自己一个机会去接受和评估它。

2.Avoid unnecessary confrontation³

2.避免不必要的冲突

If you decide that the point is valid⁴, it may be hard to take. In your discomfort⁵, you may feel the urge to lash⁶ out at the other person and defend yourself. But it’s best to avoid getting into an argument.

如果你认定自己的观点是正确的，那它可能很难让人接受。你不爽，你也许想立即反击别人保护自己。不过，最好是避免争吵。

3.Be open to the idea of change

3.接受改变

Most of us are pretty stubborn. And it may be because of a concept called “cognitive⁷ dissonance” that can prevent us from changing even when that’s what we need most.

我们大多数人都很顽固。这可能是因为“认知失调”，它可以防止我们改变，即使我们最需要改变。

4.Ask questions

4.提问

If you’re open to using the criticism as a springboard to improvement, you will likely need more information. The initial moment you hear the criticism may not be the best time to ask for more details. Your emotions will be riding high, and you may not be particularly receptive to extra information. However, when you feel ready, it could be worth revisiting the subject with the person who criticized you. Even if you don’t agree with their advice, thank them and promise to consider it.

如果你愿意把批评作为改进的跳板，你可能需要更多信息。最开始听到批评的时候可能不是寻求更多细节的最佳时机。因为那时你情绪高昂，可能不会特意去接受额外的信息。反而，当你觉得准备好了，就可以和当事人一起重新审视这个问题了。即使你不认同他们的建议，也要感谢他们并答应考虑考虑。